


Down The Aisle

by East02End



Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:29:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/East02End/pseuds/East02End
Summary: Just another random thought of mine.Wedding Planner AU!Ben planning Callum’s wedding to Whitney.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 38
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

“Remind me, why I’m doing this again, Jay??” Ben huffed. 

“Because Ben, Lola’s gone away on a florist course for this place and because I’m making you. I need help around here.”

“Seriously, do I look like a wedding planner to you??”

“Your not exactly full of the joys of love but I really need you, Ben. Please, just for a bit.”

“I don’t do weddings, Jay? Not exactly a good face for the business am I?”

“Come on, you could run this place with your eyes closed. You know everything there is to know. Your good with clients. Pretty please?”

“Fine, okay?! I’ll do it, who do you want me to handle?”

“Err, the next person that comes in?”

“Why do you need me, Jay, if you haven’t got any clients??”

“I have! Just help me out here, Ben. I’ve got one coming later, not including the couple your taking and I can’t take in another, I’ve already got three, I’m asking you to help with one?! I’ll have four?”

“Alright, keep your knickers on, I’ve already said I’ll do it.”

“I’ve got two couples coming today. I’m gonna have to take on one but you can have the other. You have whoever’s here first. It’s either Callum and Whitney or Jon and Adam.”

“Well let’s hope the second come first.” Ben grinned. 

“Oi, no! Your are not sleeping with either groom!”

Jay shook his head, Ben still grinning to himself, spinning around in his chair. 

“Ben?!”

“Yesss, okay?! I was joking! They’ll be married smoothly.” He smiled. 

“Thank you.” Jay sighed. “I’m watching you.” He warned, giving Ben his best evils. 

Ben held his hands up in surrender, grabbing a bottle of Prosecco from the fridge. 

“That’s our profits, you know?!”

“Arr, come on, it’s just one!”

~*~

“Damn.” Ben muttered, grinning at Jay. Not the second couple. 

Jay glared at Ben, watching him checking out the man walking through the door. 

Ben held his hands up again, smiling at Jay. ‘Just looking?!’ He mouthed.

“I swear to god...” Jay hissed, instantly smiling widely at the couple. “Callum and Whitney! Course you are, you aren’t Jon and Adam.” He laughed. 

Ben rolled his eyes, shaking his head at Jay, getting flustered.

“Yes, well, Ben will be looking after you both.”

Ben stood up, holding his hand out. 

“Would say, Ben, but you’ve already just established that.”

Whitney shook his hand, smiling way too much for Ben’s liking, before turning his attention beside her. 

“And you must be Callum.”

“And you’d be correct.” He smiled, taking Ben’s hand. 

“Lucky girl.” Ben smiled at Callum, Callum holding on for a second longer, before taking his hand back. 

“I think I’ve finally found a decent guy!” Whitney laughed. 

“Well, you are marrying him!” 

“I need to be who you want me to be.” Callum smiled. 

Ben frowned to himself, looking at Callum. 

Callum caught Ben’s gaze, smiling at Whitney instead. “I meant, cos you deserve everything. I want to give that to you.”

“Aren’t you the charmer?” Ben smiled.

“I always hear about the groom running off with the wedding planner.” Whitney chuckled, tearing Callum’s gaze away from Ben. 

“I still might.” Ben grinned. 

Whitney just laughed, taking Callum’s hand. 

“Well, good job I picked Callum.”

“Well, I’ll be with you two, so your safe. Don’t think your fiancé will be running off with me! Not unless he’s secretly gay!”

“I’m not?!” Callum piped up. 

“He was joking babe.” Whitney smiled. 

“Let me take you both for a drink in the Vic, then you can tell me what you both want?”

“Good idea!” Whitney smiled, pulling Callum out of the door. 

“She smiles way too much!” Ben hissed to Jay.

“Oh, get over it. She’s happy, something you wouldn’t know about.”

“Shut it, you. I’m very happy on my own.” Ben grinned. 

“Coming?”

Ben spun around, Whitney smiling at them again, shooting a gaze at Jay. “See?!” He whispered under his breath. 

“Go!”

‘I hate you.’ Ben mouthed to Jay, following Callum and Whitney outside. 

“Have fun!” Jay called in a sing song voice, enjoying every minute.

“Ben?”

Ben stopped, Callum’s hand on his arm. He watched Whitney walk a little farther before turning to Ben. 

“Can you just make sure this all goes smoothly? I need it to...”

“Course. I promise your in safe hands.” Ben smiled. “Don’t worry.”

“It’s hard not too...”

Ben held onto the top of Callum’s arms, looking nervously at Ben.

“Seriously stop stressing, your gonna be fine. It always happens. Trust me, I’ve done this about a hundred times. It’s always one stressing out so much, but you don’t need to.”

Callum nodded, smiling at Ben. “I just want it to be okay.”

“It will be.” Ben promised. “You do know the pre wedding jitters are supposed to happen right before the wedding, not now?” 

Ben smiled at Callum, any worry washing away from his face instantly, at ease with him, smiling back at Ben.


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s open!”

Ben looked up at a knock on the office door, spinning around in his chair. 

“Ah, Callum, I was just about to call you.”

“Yeah?”

“You hardly told me what you wanted the other day?”

“Whitney told you didn’t she??”

“Yeah, but what do you want?”

“I’m not that fussed...”

“You can sit down you know?” Ben nodded to the sofa, Callum looking awkward, standing in the middle of the room. 

“Oh, sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry, just sit!” Ben smiled. “Relax!”

“I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed right now.”

“Glass?” Ben held out a glass of Prosecco, Callum looking up at him. 

“This some kind of dream job? You seem to get to drink wine all day.”

“Perks of the job.” Ben smiled, chucking himself down on the sofa next to Callum. 

“Don’t you wanna sit in your throne?” 

Ben laughed, shaking his head.  
“Nah, I’m good here. Where is Whitney anyway?”

“She’s gonna be late. Had to see a client for her clothes designs. She started her own business.”

“More wine for me and you then?” Ben grabbed the bottle from the side, topping up their glasses. 

“So, what did I need to do?”

“Well, for a start you both gotta come to the flower market and pick which you want, write your vows, pick your suit and Whitney’s dress. Oo, and I need to find a suitable catering thingy.”

“Not much then?”

“You don’t seem very excited?”

Callum sighed, downing the rest of his glass. 

“I am, I am. Course I am. I just don’t get why it needs to be so... much? I mean she knows I love her so what?”

Ben shrugged, smiling at Callum. 

“The minds of women are a mystery with me.”

“Hmm, same though.”

“Join my club.” He chuckled. 

“But then I wouldn’t be wedding planning right now and you’d be poor.” Callum grinned. 

“I wouldn’t say poor but fair enough.”

Callum watched Ben grab a second bottle, refilling both their glasses, before sitting back next to Callum. 

“That’s my plan, you see. People have their fancy weddings then they come and buy a car from the car lot too.”

“You own that too? Quite the business man aren’t you?” Callum smiled. 

“And the garage. Technically Jay and Lo own this place, I just help out sometimes. Promise something though?”

Callum frowned at Ben, grinning at him. “Go on?”

“When you and Whit have your 600 kiddies, make sure you buy your big 4x4 from me!”

“Woah, slow down, no one said anything about kids?!”

“Alright, I was kidding!” Ben laughed to himself, drinking a bit more. “You get it? Kidding?? Kids?? I’m just so amazing at this.”

Callum smiled at Ben, slightly tipsy. 

“Yes you are.” 

Ben looked at Callum, frowning at him for a second, before dismissing it and helping himself to more wine. 

Ben leaned over, wrapping his arm around Callum’s shoulder, still giggling to himself. 

“Just don’t tell, Jay, I nicked the wine from the fridge again.” He whispered. 

“Your secrets safe with me.”

~*~

“Come on Callum, you could be a bit more cheerful? We are getting married you know? Incase you’ve forgotten?”

“I don’t do flowers!” He retorted. 

Whitney huffed looking at some herself. 

“Right, do either of you have a favourite?” Ben asked, swinging his legs on the stool he was sitting on. 

Whitney walked off, picking every single flower she could. 

Ben shook his head at Callum picking up the first flower next to him. 

“Lilies?”

Ben laughed, Callum looking confused. “What??”

“Lilies are more for funerals.”

“Oh... well what do you think then, if your so good at it, Mr Florist?”

“Mr Florist?!” Ben smiled, looking at Callum, grinning back at him.  
“You have a beautiful smile.” He blurted out. 

Callum looked up quickly, shocked, searching Ben’s face. 

“Erm, sorry, where were we? Think that wines still gone to my head, from this morning.” Ben quickly said, hopping off the stool and walking in the opposite direction. 

“What are you doing?!” He hissed to himself. 

“Erm, what about roses?” Ben spun around, giving it to Callum, trying to change the subject. 

“Nah, too stereotypical.” 

“Tulips? Lexi loves those?

“Lexi?”

“My daughter.” He smiled. “She loves flowers. Only reason I know so much.”

“And your a wedding planner.” Callum added. 

“Just helping my brother. Lo’s gone on another floristry course. He needed me.”

“Well lucky for me, I’ve got Mr Florist haven’t I?” Callum smiled. 

Ben smiled at Callum, staring at each other for a little longer than necessary. 

“You found any?” Whitney said, making Callum jump. 

“Erm, tulips? I like those.” Callum said quickly, holding it out for her. 

“Since when?” She smiled. “There nice though.”

“Since now.” Callum nodded. 

“She’s like a kid in a sweet shop.” Ben nodded to Whitney, getting waylaid again, wandering off to find more flowers. 

“She’s happy.” Callum smiled, watching her. 

“And are you?” 

Callum looked up at Ben, before smiling at him. 

“Course I am? Why’d you think I wasn’t?”

Ben shrugged, frowning at Callum, tearing a flower apart. 

“Just want to make sure my clients are happy.” He said instead. 

“We are.” Callum smiled. 

“Hope your gonna pay for that.”

Callum looked guilty, gently leaving it on the side. “Sorry.” He winced. 

“I’m joking! Just relax will you, your so guarded all the time.”

Callum opened his mouth to speak, Ben cutting him off. “And don’t even say sorry again.”

Callum went to speak again, Ben glaring at him. “I mean it. Don’t you dare, or I will tell the owner here, and make you pay for that flower you destroyed.”

Callum held his hands up in surrender, laughing at Ben. 

“Okay, okay! I could complain about this you know?”

“What?!”

“You blackmailing me! I’m supposed to be your client.”

Ben smiled at Callum, chucking him another flower. 

“Tear that apart, instead of me!”

Callum smiled widely at him, sitting on a stool next to Ben. 

“See? You can relax. It’s the most I’ve seen you smile since you got here.”

“Yeah well, just making sure I keep you sweet so I don’t have to pay for these dead flowers.”

“Are you now?”

Ben picked another flower from the side, holding it out for Callum. 

“Another flower for you to destroy?”

“Why thank you.” Callum smiled, 

Ben looked at their hands both around the flower, letting it go slowly. 

“Err, have you decided which ones you want then?” He said instead. 

“Probably just let Whitney choose the rest. She knows more about it than me. I’ve got me tulips though.” Callum smiled. 

“Picked by yours truly.” Ben grinned, pretending to bow. 

“Thank you, for coming with us today. I really appreciate it.”

“Gotta keep an eye on certain people going around the place, destroying flowers, haven’t I?” Ben smiled. 

“When you put it like that...” Callum grinned.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ben?”

Ben sat clicking his pen over and and over, spinning around in his chair. 

“Ben?! Would you stop doing that?!” Jay cried. 

“Sorry, miles away.” Ben muttered. 

“Something wrong?”

“No course not. Just tryna remember everything for Callum and Whitney.”

“Sure?”

“I’m fine.” Ben smiled, looking up at the door opening. “Callum! Didn’t think you were supposed to be here today? Not supposed to be sorting stuff out til next week?”

“Whit wants to talk you about something else she thought of.”

“Right.” 

Callum looked at Ben, swinging around in his chair again. 

“Is that okay?”

“Course it is. Where is she?”

“Fetching some giant mood board from the car.” Callum smiled. 

Ben stopped spinning, raising his eyes. 

“How big we talking?”

“Erm, let’s just say we’re gonna be here for a while.”

“Great.” Ben smiled. “It’s what I’m here for.”

“Right, well I’m off. Gotta go see one of the clients.” Jay added, making an exit. 

Callum watched him leave, sitting down in Jay’s chair.

“Quite like sitting here.” He grinned. 

“Don’t tell him you sat in his spinny chair, he’ll have your head.” Ben chuckled. 

“He isn’t here though is he?” Callum grinned.

“Suppose.” Ben smiled. 

They both fell silent, just smiling at each other. 

“Erm, you seeing anyone special then?” Callum tore his gaze away from Ben, spinning around in Jays chair instead. 

“Nah, I like to fly solo.”

Callum looked at Ben, squinting at him. 

“What??” Ben frowned, slightly nervous. 

“Good looking guy like you, I’m just surprised you’ve not got a whole family.”

“You saying I’m good looking?”

“Just saying, thought you’d be taken.” Callum smiled. 

“I have though, a family. Just not with anyone special. I’ve got Lexi, that’s all I need.”

Callum smiled at Ben, kicking his feet up on Jay’s desk. 

“You like to live life dangerously.” Ben chuckled. “Jay would kill you, if he found you doing that.”

“Like I said, Jay isn’t here and your not gonna tell him.”

“Aren’t I?”

“Nope.” 

They sat in silence for a while, neither speaking. 

“About four months now and single life will be a distant memory.” Ben chuckled. 

“Yeah...”

Callum looked up at Ben, looking concerned. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it.”

Callum sighed, smoothing his hands down his jeans, trying to distract himself. 

“What’s said in this room, stays in this room.” Ben smiled. 

Callum smiled at Ben, sighing quietly. 

“I’m just stressed, I guess...”

“You don’t seem very happy?”

“I am, course I am. I love her, I just don’t want such a big fuss, you know? I mean, she’s got like a thousand flowers, we need to pick a whole food menu and I gotta write my vows.” Callum sighed looking at Ben, across the room. “Am I being selfish?”

“Course not.” Ben smiled. 

“No?”

“No! Have you talked to Whitney about it?”

“I can’t! You can’t!” Callum looked at Ben, looking panicked. 

“I won’t, I promise. What did I say? What’s said in this room?” He smiled. 

Callum nodded, relaxing slightly. 

“I just don’t want to upset her...”

“But if your unhappy?”

“I’m not. I just...” Callum sighed, closing his eyes, resting his head against the wall behind him. “I don’t know...”

Callum opened his eyes, looking at Ben crossing the room, perching on the edge of the desk next to him. 

“Didn’t think Jay liked you to drink all the profits?”

“Thought you might need it.” Ben smiled. 

Callum took it from him, adjusting his legs on the desk, so Ben had more room to sit. 

“Why are you so easy to talk to?” Callum whispered. 

“Must have one of those faces.” Ben smiled. 

“Maybe...”

Ben looked at Callum, neither speaking for awhile, just looking at each other. 

“Well, I’m here if you ever want to offload.” Ben smiled. 

Ben jumped, tearing his gaze away from Callum, when Whitney came barrelling in, with her mood board. 

“It’s gonna be a long time.” Callum chuckled. 

“Hey, I need to make sure it’s all perfect!” Whitney cried. 

“I’m kidding! You can show Ben your hundred different shades of blue of though, and about a thousand shades of green. I’m quite happy sitting over here.”

“Sometimes think you don’t wanna marry me.” She huffed. 

“Come on, there’s like a dark blue and light blue, how many more do you need??”

“I’m showing Ben what I want and that’s that.”

Callum held his hands up in surrender, chuckling to himself. 

“Good luck.” He aimed at Ben. “You might be about 80 by the time she finishes.”

“Oi! If your not gonna help, you just sit there and look pretty.” She glared. 

She sat down opposite Ben, spreading it all out. 

“I shall.” Callum grinned, sitting back in the chair.

~*~

Nodding at all the right parts, too busy watching Callum, swinging from side to side in Jay’s chair. 

Everything about him was different. 

He seemed more relaxed, flicking through something in his phone, smiling every so often, drinking the wine Ben gave him. 

“What if I need to tell you something else?!” Whitney cried. 

“Take the office number, I’m here most of the time anyways.”

Callum frowned, a number number with a message on his phone. 

‘Incase you want to ‘offload’’

Callum looked up meeting Ben’s eyes, offering him a small smile. 

“Oo, while we’re here, you couldn’t book us into a food tasting thingy could you?” Whitney asked. “I’ve got like a thousand ideas for a menu, I’d love to try.”

Ben looked up at Callum, shrugging. ‘Told you.’ He mouthed. 

“Erm, I can do.” 

Callum looked up at Ben, looking for something. 

“Bloody hell, I’ve lost my laptop again! I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.”

“This it??”

Ben looked up, Callum holding it out for him. 

“Thanks. I must have left it on Jays desk on the way in.”

Ben grabbed the wine bottle, crossing the room and placing it next to Callum, squatting down and checking his laptop for Whitney. 

Callum took his legs off the desk, watching Ben, helping himself to the wine. He smiled at Ben, pouting slightly, trying to sort it out, frowning at the screen. 

“The earliest I can book you both in in next month. The usual we usually use is fully booked up until next month. It’s just outside of London.”

“That’s alright isn’t it?” Callum frowned. 

“Great!” Whitney piped up, joining them both, standing next to Callum. 

“I can book you a hotel room for the night too, if you like, cos it’s a long trip?”

“Oo, I love it.” Whitney grinned. 

“We don’t need to do that, do we?!”

Ben looked up at Callum, looking slightly panicked. 

“Arr, come on, it’ll be fun.” Whitney tried. 

Callum sighed, downing the rest of the wine. “Fine...”

“Sure?” Ben asked. 

Callum looked at him, nodding slowly. “Sure...”

They all sat in silence, until Ben looked back up at them. “That’s all booked for you then. The restaurant and the hotel room. They do have lovely rooms. We usually send our clients there.” 

~*~

Ben watched Whitney walk out of the office, catching up with Callum, grabbing his hand. 

Callum looked down quickly, then back up at Ben. 

“You sure about this?” Ben asked, searching his eyes. “I can cancel it if you don’t want to go?”

“No, it’s fine...”

“Sure?” 

Callum nodded, Ben realising he was still holding his hand, letting him go. 

“You’ll love it. The rooms are dead fancy.”

“Great...”


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m going Jay, calm down! I’ve got it all here!”

Ben rounded the corner walking straight into someone, dropping his paperwork all the floor. 

“This day just gets better and better!” He muttered, dropping to the floor, gathering some of it up.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!”

Ben looked recognising his voice. “Callum! No I’m sorry, I was on the phone to Jay and wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Callum knelt on the floor, helping Ben pick up some the paper. “I always walk way too fast.” He smiled. 

Ben looked at Callum, neither speaking, just looking at each for a while. 

“Erm, do you...” Callum trailed off, hesitating, before speaking again. “Do you want to go for a drink in the Vic?”

Ben stood up, Callum still holding onto some of the papers. 

“I can’t. I really would love to, but I’ve got Dad on my case with the paper work for the Arches, Jay on my back for ‘Down The Aisle’. I’ve got so much work to do.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe another time.”

Ben looked at Callum, looking a little disappointed, brushing the rest of the dirt from his knees, feeling guilty. 

“I’m heading home though? You could come with me, cos most of my stuff is there.”

“Oh no, I don’t wanna disturb you, if your busy.”

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.” Ben smiled. “Walk with me?”

“Great!” Ben led the way, Callum falling into beside him. 

“Have you been this busy since I last saw you?”

“Pretty much. I haven’t been doing it, should have really. I’ve got like a ton to do.”

Ben unlocked the back door, chucking the files on the table in the kitchen, taking the rest from Callum. 

“Thanks. You can come in you know, instead of standing outside?” He smiled. 

“Sorry.” Callum winced, walking slowly inside.

“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t had a chance to sort it all out.”

“No, it’s nice. It’s lived in, isn’t it?” He smiled. 

“When you put it like that?”

“Whit would hate it if I left something out. She likes everything to be perfect.”

“You go through to the front room, beer okay?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” 

Callum walked through to the living looking around. A couple of Ben’s jackets over different chairs, an empty mug left on the side. It felt... homely. 

Callum picked up one of Ben’s jackets, sitting down on the edge of the sofa slowly, not sure what to do with himself. 

Callum looked up at Ben, holding a beer out for him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to sit it on it.” He quickly put it down, taking the beer from Ben. 

“It’s fine, you apologise way too much.” He smiled. 

Callum watched Ben throw it over another chair, sitting down on the sofa, picking his feet up and propping the files against his knees. 

“Whit would hate me doing that at home.”

Ben shrugged, moving his feet over, so Callum had more room. 

“So how many businesses do you actually own?”

“Well, me and Jay own the car lot, Dad gave me the the Arches and Jay and Lo own ‘Down The Aisle’. I help out quite often cos they get so busy.”

“Proper little business man aren’t you?” He smiled. 

“Not really.”

“Your just being humble. Well, lucky for me, I got to me you didn’t I?”

“Yeah, we did.” Ben smiled, Callum looking back at him for a long while. 

Callum watched Ben writing stuff down, drinking some of the beer every now again. 

“You still worried about this hotel trip?” Ben asked. 

Callum looked at Ben not noticing the panic crossing his face, too busy writing something down. 

“I’m not worried as such?”

“No?”

Callum took Ben’s beer from him, trying to write something down and hold his beer at the same time. 

“I just thought we should be saving for the wedding. That needs to be done.”

“Never heard anyone say a wedding needs to ‘be done’ before.” Ben chuckled. 

“You know what I meant. I meant they’re still loads of stuff to do and buy?”

Ben threw a file on the side, making Callum jump slightly, looking up at Callum, staring at his lap. 

“You sure your okay?”

“Yeah...” Callum hesitated, looking up at Ben. “I just get so stressed. I don’t know whether I’m doing the right thing...”

“You just gotta do what’s right for you.” Ben nodded. 

“Is it bad I’m scared?”

“Course not, it’s big thing, getting married. You don’t make that kind of decision lightly.”

Ben sighed, chucking the files in the side, Callum frowning at him. “I thought you had loads to do?”

“Bored already.” Ben grinned. “I’ll do it later.”

Ben took his beer back from Callum, moving his feet up so Could had more room. 

“You know when I was younger, I had no clue about love.”

“I still don’t know now!” Callum scoffed. 

“I remember I always had this feeling, I don’t know what it was. But I felt like I needed someone’s help. To be saved even.”

Callum looked up at Ben staring at his beer, lost in his own thoughts. 

“I remember looking at guys, thinking your alright. I used to think that was cos I wanted to be like that, look like that, you know?”

“Why are you telling me this?” Callum whispered. 

“You know I’m not with anyone right now, but I used to be so lost in love.”

“I feel lost all the time...” 

Ben looked at Callum, picking at the label on the bottle nervously. 

“You shouldn’t feel like that?”

Callum shrugged, saying nothing. 

“I remember I always had this feeling, and the younger, more naive me thought it would go away, that it would pass. But it never did. I got more and more scared, cos that feeling got stronger and stronger.”

“What did you do?”

Ben looked at Callum, feeing like he was asking these questions for a reason, so he carried on. 

“I got myself a girlfriend didn’t I?” Ben rolled his eyes, smiling at Callum. “Thought I could force myself to feel differently. But it doesn’t work like that. I ended up cheating on her eventually.”

“With a guy?”

“Yup.” Ben nodded. “My head was a dark place back then, I was trapped in my head with no way out.”

Callum said nothing, looking anywhere but at Ben. 

“He became my boyfriend eventually, when I was ready.”

“What happened with you two? He didn’t leave did he??”

“Err, it didn’t work out very well...” Ben whispered. 

Ben looked at Callum, expecting him to ask questions, but he didn’t, relaxing slightly. He couldn’t go over it now. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault is it?” Ben smiled. 

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a while, drinking quietly. 

“Was it hard?” Callum whispered. 

Ben looked up at Callum, barley hearing him, he was so quiet. 

“Which part?!” Ben laughed. “Trying to pretend I wasn’t gay? Or accepting I was?”

“Everything.”

“It was at the start, yeah. But it was worth it, cos I’m happier. I’m not scared anymore.”

Callum nodded, glad Ben was happy. 

“There’s only one good thing that happened when I still hadn’t come out.” Ben smiled. “Could you-“

Callum instantly took Ben’s beer from him, watching take something from his pocket. 

“My daughter, Lexi.” 

Ben turned it around, Callum smiling at the two of them together. 

“You look close.”

“We are. I take this photo everywhere with me.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Sleeping with Lo?”

“Lola? With Jay? Wedding owner?” Callum frowned. 

“Yeah, I know.” Ben smiled. “Another attempt at me trying not to be gay. Sometimes I regret sleeping with her, yeah, but never Lexi. She’s my whole world.”

Callum smiled at Ben, looking at the photo.

“What are you doing?!” Ben laughed, watching Callum flicking his head to the side. 

“What?! I’m holding these and my hair is in the way! I can’t help it?!” He grinned. 

“Come ‘ere’” Callum hesitated, Ben nodding, shoving the photo back in his pocket. “Let me...”

Callum shuffled closer to Ben, letting him brush his hair back, away from his face. “I can help you, you know.”

Ben took his hand away, his hair falling loose again, Ben instantly brushing it back again, keeping his hand in his hair. “I’m here.”

“I know you are...” Callum whispered. Ben looked back at Callum, his eyes flicking to his mouth, just once, Ben almost thinking he imagined it. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes like yours...” Ben whispered, looking at Callum. “They’re so beautiful...”

Callum looked at Ben for a second longer, moving his head away, Ben dropping his hand. 

“I need to go.” Callum said suddenly, standing up. 

“I’m sorry, I just-“

“Whit will be wondering where I am. I was only supposed to nip to the shop.”

“What’s wrong with having a drink with me??”

“Nothing, I just need to go, okay?!”

Ben nodded, watching him disappear, slumping back against the sofa, sighing to himself. 

“Way to go, Ben!” He muttered, groaning to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben sighed, tilting his head to the side, holding his phone in place, trying to get a hold of Callum whilst writing something down. 

“Callum, can you call me back please? I need to talk to you?”

“Where’d you get his number from??” Jay frowned, looking at Ben from across the room. 

“Off the paperwork.”

“You can’t do that?! I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of law for harassing clients?”

“It’s important, okay?? I’m not harassing him, I’m leaving a voicemail. He’s ignoring me.”

“What you done now? Don’t go scaring all my clients away, Ben.”

“I’m not! It doesn’t matter, I just need to speak to him. It was once.”

Ben groaned, throwing his phone down, Callum still not picking up. 

“Twice.” Jay raised his eyes, Ben rolling his eyes. 

“Fine, I left him two voicemails!” 

“Why do you need him so bad for??” 

“It’s fine.” Ben huffed, closing his eyes. 

“How’s come he’s ignoring you? You’ve been getting on like you’ve always known him and now he’s blanking you?”

“Just leave it, Jay?! What is this, twenty questions?”

“Alright, jeez, calm down!”

“I’m sorry.” Ben sighed. “I just need to tell him something.” Ben rested his head against the wall behind him, closing his eyes again, concentrating on the silence instead. 

Ben jumped out of his chair, an idea dawning on him.

“God, Ben. Give a man a bit of warning before you give him a heart attack?” Jay cried. 

“I can go and see him!”

“Ben, no! You can’t just turn up on his doorstep?!”

“I can. And I am.” Ben hurried across the room, grabbing his coat from the side. 

“Ben!!” Jay groaned as Ben disappeared out the office door. 

Ben took a deep breath, knocking on the door, slightly disappointed at Whitney answering. 

“We weren’t supposed to see you today we’re we? Didn’t know you did home visits.”

“Erm, is Callum in? I just need to go over something with him.”

“Can’t you tell me?” She grinned. 

“Sorry, trust me, you really don’t wanna know.” 

“I swear if he’s got female strippers or something planned for his stag, I’m gonna kill him. I don’t care if they’re male, but seriously don’t do it me.”

“Yeah, think your safe.”

“Anyway, I’ll go get him.” 

Whitney disappeared, Callum soon appearing in her place. 

“What are you doing here, Ben?”

“I’m sorry, alright, for the other day, I just want to apologise.”

“For what?”

“You know what.” 

Callum leant against the doorway, looking at Ben, not wanting to broach the subject. 

“Look, I don’t know why you feel like you’ve got to ‘help me’ but I’m fine on my own, okay? I appreciate it but I’m good.”

“You shouldn’t feel like your on your own...”

“I meant with Whit?!” Callum added quickly. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I did before you left, I know that’s why your ignoring my calls, but I really just-“

“Don’t.” Callum blurted out. “Just don’t.” He whispered again. 

“Don’t what??”

“Make this out to be a really big thing when it really wasn’t? It isn’t.”

“You answer me one question and I’ll leave it.”

“What?” Callum sighed. 

“What goes through your head at the thought of spending the rest of your life with Whitney?”

Ben looked at Callum, looking like he was going to pass out. “And you wonder why I wanted to help you.” He muttered. 

“It’s not like that?! Surely everyone gets a little scared at that? I mean I’m practically having my whole life planned by this one day...”

“Do you see Whitney getting terrified?”

“I’m not...” Callum trailed off, Ben turning around to leave. “Why me??” He blurted out.

Ben turned back around, looking at Callum. 

“There’s just something about you, Callum...”

“And you think I need to be saved??”

“I don’t want you doing something that you don’t want?”

“But why not rescue some other damsel in distress? Why go to all the trouble of coming here to say sorry? When you could have easily waited until we came to the office next?”

“I couldn’t wait, okay? This couldn’t wait.”

“There is no ‘this’. You’ve clearly got the wrong end of the stick.”

“No, I know what I know. I’ve known you for what a month, maybe a month and half?”

“Is there a point to all of this?” 

Ben ignored him, carrying on. 

“At first I thought you were just worried about it all.”

“I am just that, nothing else! I-“

“But then I saw the way you are when Whitney is near you or the mention of her.”

“I don’t know what your tryna say but-“

“You don’t want this at all because you-“

“Seriously, who do you think you are coming round telling me what I want and what I don’t want!”

“I’m not forcing you am I?! You just won’t let me finish?! Everytime I speak, you cut me off!”

“Cos your tryna find ways for some reason to stop me marrying her!”

“I’m not doing that and you know it. Your a big boy Callum, you can work it out yourself, why you and I both know this wedding is a bad idea! I’ve been there, Callum and it’s hard. I just don’t want that for you...”

“Been ‘there’?” Callum laughed. “I’m not ‘there’ or anywhere you think I am but-“

“YOUR GAY CALLUM!” Ben blurted out. He couldn’t keep spelling it out for him. 

Callum said nothing, slamming the front door behind him, grabbing Ben’s wrist and dragging him down the side of the house. 

“What the hell do you think your doing?!” Ben cried. 

“No! What the hell do you think your doing, shouting the odds!”

“I’ve tried telling you but you won’t listen to me?! You won’t let me say it! So I just said it like it is!”

“It’s not like anything!” Callum cried. 

“Then why drag me down here where no one is around?? Because you know it’s true and you don’t want anyone to know!”

“Why are you saying all of this?!”

“Tell me it’s not true??” Callum said nothing, frantically searching Ben’s face. “Tell me I’m lying?!” Ben looked at Callum, looking terrified. “Tell me your not gay, Callum?!”

Ben stumbled backwards against the wall, Callum crowding his space, crashing their mouths together. 

Ben held Callum’s head steady, instantly kissing him back, his fingers laced through Callum’s hair. 

He didn’t know how long it lasted, both stood, fighting for dominance with a hunger. 

He could have sworn Callum let out a small moan, pressing himself up against Ben, cupping his face in his hands, keeping him as close as possible. 

Callum only broke apart, when neither of them could barely breathe anymore. 

“Erm, woah...” Ben breathed out trying to catch his breath. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that...” 

“Well I’m not complaining.” Ben chuckled. 

“It’s not funny! I don’t...” Callum trailed off looking at Ben. “I’m not what you think I am.”

“I think that’s explained it pretty well.” “I’m not...” “Tell me why you kissed me?” 

“I don’t know what I was thinking...”

“You weren’t? You were doing what you wanted.” 

Callum seemed to get over the shock, glaring at Ben “And you think I want you??”

“No, I think your stuck in your own head and I was right in front of you.” Callum ignored him shaking his head. “Then why am I still up against this wall?” Ben whispered. 

Callum immediately took a step back running his hand through his hair, trying to make it less messy than Ben had made it. 

“I can’t do this...”

“Can’t do what? Accept the truth? Listen to me? Or stay here?”

“I can’t...” Callum took a few more steps back, away from Ben. 

“Callum?! Where you going?!” Ben watched Callum walking back down the alley, quickly. 

“Away! From you!” “It’s not me your trying to run away from though, is it?” 

Callum ignored him not looking back. “You can’t just run away from your life!” He tried, but he’d already gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Callum followed Whitney into the Vic, groaning to himself, spotting Ben having a drink with Jay. 

“Can’t we do this another time actually, I feel a bit weird.” He lied. 

“You can go home if you want? I won’t be long.” Whitney looked at him, looking concerned. 

“No, I’ll stay for a bit.” He sighed. He wanted to be there if Ben told Whitney he kissed him yesterday. 

Callum sat the opposite side of the room to Ben as he could get, waiting for Whitney to bring the drinks. He could barely get any of what happened yesterday, out of his head. Part of him feeling so guilty, knowing the should have told Whitney by now. 

Ben looked at Callum once, before returning his attention back to Jay. 

Callum looked at Ben, laughing at something Jay said, drinking from the bottle he was holding. He looked so happy and carefree, liked he’d already forgotten what happened yesterday. 

It was all Callum could think about. What they’d said, him kissing Ben, Ben kissing him back. He wasn’t quite sure what happened himself, both trying to get the other to listen. Ben was just right in front him? One minute they were arguing, the next he was against the wall, Ben’s hands through his hair.

Callum jumped when Whitney sat down next to him, putting the drinks down. 

“I just got you an orange juice, cos you don’t feel good.”

“Thanks.”

“Callum? What you actually looking at?” She frowned. 

“Nothing! Sorry, Yeah thanks for that.” Callum smiled, tearing his gaze away from Ben. 

“Have you written your vows yet? I have.” She grinned. 

“Erm, some of em.”

“Some?! We’ve got like three months and you don’t know what to write?”

“Course I do! I’ve been busy haven’t I?”

He hadn’t even started them yet, every time he did try, it ended up with a blank page, having no idea what to say, apart from ‘I do’ at the alter. 

“You’ll be too busy to marry me soon.” She huffed. 

“Don’t be like that, Whit? I’ll do it later, yeah? You know I love you.” He smiled. 

Whitney smiled at him, nodding. “Just cos your not feeling well, I’ll let you off this time.”

“I’ll write em, I promise.”

“Did you tell Ben what you wanted for your stag? I forgot to ask last night.”

“Stag?? When?”

“When he came round the house yesterday?? He said he was asking about something for your stag??”

“Oh, right! That. Erm, yeah he did. I just told him, I wanted something small.”

“You okay with that?”

“I wouldn’t have said if I didn’t want it. I don’t really care...”

“About this wedding or the stag? Cos you don’t seem overjoyed??”

“The stag?! Course I am! I’m marrying you, aren’t I?” 

Whitney grinned at him, seemingly satisfied, Callum letting out a sigh of relief. 

Callum felt like he was going to be sick, Ben standing up walking to towards them both. He could barley breathe, convinced Ben was going to tell Whitney, instead sitting at the bar, not even acknowledging them both. 

Callum looked at Ben groaning, sliding his empty glass across the counter.”

“Ian?! Where are you?!” He cried. Ben dropped his head down, waiting for Ian. “I’ll do it myself in a minute!”

“Alright, keep your knickers on! Should you be getting drunk? It isn’t very professional is it?”

“I’m not drunk, Ian. That was my first one. And I’m not working, I’m allowed a day off aren’t I?”

Ian raised his eyes at Ben, pouring another drink for him and Jay. 

“Lovely pleasure as always.” Ben grinned, heading back over to Jay.

Callum watched Ben get the drinks for them both a couple of times, seeming even happier, slightly tipsy. 

“What’s up, with him?” Whitney frowned. 

“Dunno, maybe he’s just happy?”

“Hold on...”

Callum thought he was going to die, desperately wishing the floor would swallow him, Ben heading over to them, dropping down on to the chair next to Callum. 

“How are my two favourite people?” He grinned. 

“Fine.” Callum sighed. 

“We talking wedding?? Bet your really excited aren’t you?”

“Course we are.” Whitney smiled. 

“What Whit said.” Callum nodded. 

“Because I’m so kind, I bought you both drinks for the happy couple! Ian!!” He cried. 

“Arr, thanks.” Whitney grinned, taking the one from Ian. 

“Seriously, Ben, what is wrong with you?” Ian shook his head, leaving them too it. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me, thanking you, I’m finee.”

Callum looked up at Jay, shaking his head at Ben. 

“Sorry about Ben, he’s a bit tipsy. You don’t wanna see him drunk, trust me. Come on, Ben, leave em to it.”

“It’s alright?” Whitney added. 

“I’d let him go, babe, he’d probably rather be over there anyway?” Callum nodded. 

“Nono, I’m good here!” Ben grinned. “Aren’t we, babe?” He aimed at Callum, planting his hand in Callum’s leg. 

Callum groaned inwardly, watching Ben down the rest of his beer. 

Jay looked at his phone, answering it. 

“Lo? What’s up?”

Jay listened for a second, glancing at Ben.

“Erm, I don’t think Ben should look after Lex right now, he’s slowly getting drunk.” Jay rolled his eyes at Ben, bringing some shots to the table. 

“See? I am nice aren’t I, Callum? I’m not that mean. I ent tryna hurt you...”

“What’s he on about?” Whitney frowned. 

“No idea... He’s probably not sure what he’s saying.”

“I’ll come home, if she’s sick.” Jay finished. “Don’t let him get too drunk, will you? Lexi’s sick, I need to help Lo.”

“I’ll try.” Callum smiled, looking at Ben, nicking Jay’s drink. “I’ll go look after her shall I?” Jay shook his head at Ben, moving on to another glass. “Incase you’ve forgotten Lola’s back today?” “Have fun!” Ben grinned. He could barely breathe right now, not sure whether Ben knew he could tell Whitney if he wanted to. He wouldn’t know, he hadn’t got a clue what he was doing. 

Ben drank more and more as the night wore on, not a care in the world. 

“You reckon we should head home?” Whitney frowned at Ben. 

“We can’t just leave him here, like that?”

“You can’t take him home, Callum. You aren’t his carer?”

“You head home, I’ll just drop him off, it’s not too far.”

“Okay, just don’t be too long.” She grinned. 

Callum looked at Whitney, that knowing look in her eye. 

“I’ll be as quick as I can.” Callum nodded, more worried about getting Ben away from Whitney right now. 

“Come on.” Callum said to Ben, standing up. 

“Where’s everyone gone? We’re ‘avin’ such a good time!”

“Your too busy getting drunk to notice. Are you coming or not?”

“I’ll go anywhere with you, baby.” Ben chuckled, standing up slowly. “Woah, why’s the room spinning?”

"Don’t call me–“ Callum shook his head, not bothering, Ben too busy wandering off. 

"Are we going home?”

"You are? Come on. The hell are you thinking, drinking so much?“ 

“If I drink with you, I can spend time with you." Ben smiled, walking out of the pub. 

That hurt. It shouldn’t, but it did, the easy, careless admission that he mattered to Ben. 

Ben tripped up his own feet, Callum holding onto him instead, Ben pressing himself against Callum. 

“Your drunk.” Callum told him, trying to walk him in a straight line. 

“I’m not drunk!” Ben frowned. “I’m just intoxicated by youuu!” He chuckled. 

“Yeah, course you are.” Callum shook his head, Ben looking up at him. 

“We should have another date one day.” Ben sighed, smiling to himself. 

“This was not a date, Ben! Besides Whitney was with us.”

“She was just third wheeling.” Ben chuckled, trying to walk in a straight line. 

“You werent supposed to be there?”

“Oh well.” Ben shrugged. 

Callum was well aware of Ben’s arm round his waist, half holding him up. “You okay?”

“Feel sick.” Ben whined, looking up at Callum. “Where we going?”

“Home, I just said. You need to sleep it off, and a bucket by the looks of it.”

“M’fine, worry ‘bout you more...”

“Me?? I’m not the one who’s drunk, Ben?”

“Cos you don’t love ‘er do ya?”

“I’m not talking about this now Ben, when your high as a kite.”

Ben groaned, pulling himself up, pinning Callum to the wall. 

“What you doing?” Callum sighed, looking at Ben’s hands on his chest, crowding his space. 

“Why do you keep denying it? You don’t love her, simple as.”

“Can we just get you home, your so drunk, Ben.”

“I’m. Fine.” Ben groaned, giving up quickly, dropping his hands. “Fine, whatever you say sir.” Ben saluted, swaying slightly. 

“Shit.” He muttered. Ben gripped onto the side of the wall, whining to himself, throwing up in the bush next to him. 

“Argh! Come on you’ll pass out next and I ent carrying you?!” 

“My knight in shining armour.” Ben slurred dragging himself back to Callum. 

“No! Nonono!” Callum held Ben’s head in his hands, trying to stop him from kissing him, pressing his back against the wall. “Don’t you dare, Ben! Don’t even think about it!”

“I’m thinking I want to.” Ben grinned, pressing his myself against Callum. 

“Hell no! You’ve literally just been sick in a bush, Ben?! No thanks.”

“So you would kiss me if I wasn’t sick??” He smiled. 

“That’s not what- Argh why are you so annoying?!”

“Why are you so gay?” Ben chuckled. 

“For fucks sake, just come on. Your even more annoying when your pissed.”

“I aim to please?” 

Callum managed to half carry him to the front door, grabbing Ben’s keys from his pocket, Ben giggling to himself. 

“I shouldn’t have even done this.” Callum huffed. 

“Then then why do it?” Ben frowned, walking slowly into the kitchen bracing his hand on the countertop to hold himself up. 

Callum slid a glass of water to him looking at him. “Cos Whit didn’t want to leave you like that. Drink.”

Ben rolled his eyes, doing as he was told anyway. “Yes sir, whatever you say sir.”

“Because your a good person Ben, I know you are and I didn’t want you to be on your own, drunk, not even knowing what your name is. Anything could happen to you.”

Ben looked up at Callum looking shocked, actually being honest. 

“I know my name? My name is Ben-j-min.” He giggled going back to being drunk. 

Callum rolled his eyes, holding the water in one hand and Ben in the other, guiding him upstairs. 

“Don’t tell Whit, what your doing. Taking me upstairs!” He giggled. 

“I won’t be doing anything with you like that.” 

“So you’d kiss me and sleep with me??”

Callum shook his head at Ben looking up at him hopefully.

“No! Just get in bed, Ben.”

Ben groaned, dropping onto the bed, swinging his legs on. “I feel really bad.” He whined. 

“That’s cos you drank half your weight in alcohol!” 

Callum sat down on the edge of the bed, placing the glass on the side for him. 

“Thanks, by the way for bringing me home. Your quite something Callum Highway.”

“I only brought you home?”

“Stay...” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t... Your drunk Ben, just go to sleep. 

“Please. I don’t want you to go...”

“And where am I supposed to sleep?” Callum smiled. 

“There...” He half heartedly pointed behind him, next to him in the bed, whining to himself. “Feel sick...”

Ben dropped his hand, trying not to gag. 

“Get some rest.” Callum stroked Ben’s hair back, trying to keep his eyes open. 

“I won’t tell anyone.” Ben giggled. “Your secrets safe with me.” He slurred. 

“I haven’t got any secrets.” Callum tried. 

“Y’av, Y’av.” Ben chuckled. “I know em.” 

Callum thought he’d gone to sleep already but he opened his eyes slowly, looking at Callum. 

“I want you...” He whispered, wrapping his fingers around Callum’s hand. 

Callum looked at their hands half tempted to move it, but left it, closing his hand around Ben’s. 

“I’m right here, you just need rest.” 

“No I ‘need’ you.” Ben whined feeling dizzy. “Not now, I meant I really want you, but I can’t have you...” Ben whispered to himself, burying his head in his pillow. “I like you Callum...” 

Callum stroked Ben’s hair back away from his face, looking at Ben, battling to keep his eyes open. 

“I really like you a lot...” He whispered, smiling to himself. 

“You can’t, Ben. Your too drunk to know what your saying.”

Ben shook his head, moaning at feeling sick again. “No,no I do!” He insisted. “Can’t remember the last time I felt like this.”

“What sick?!” Callum smiled. 

“No... it’s nice?”

“Come on, just get some sleep.” Callum tried. 

“That feeling of wanting someone...”

“You don’t want me Ben, your-“

“No I’m not drunk!” He whined. “Well I am, but I know what I want Cal, I really know...”

Callum looked at Ben, letting his eyes close. No one called him that, not even Whitney. 

“You’ll feel better in the morning.” Callum whispered, still stroking his hair, finally asleep. 

He stayed with him for a while longer incase he woke up but he didn’t, breathing gently, still gripping onto Callum’s hand. 

Callum let go slowly, Ben gripping on even tighter. He managed to wriggle his hand free, hesitating before pressing a light kiss to the top of Ben’s head, leaving the room as quietly as possible. 

He pressed his back against the door, closing his eyes letting out a long sigh. 

“What am I doing...” He whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if I should keep writing this tbh, not many people seem to be reading it! 🤣
> 
> I don’t wanna keep writing if it’s terrible, lol! 
> 
> Please let me know what I can do to make it better, I’m all for constructive criticism. Just don’t wanna be boring anyone?!
> 
> Not too sure right now?


	7. Chapter 7

“Argh, my head!” Ben moaned, running his hands through his hair. 

Ben groaned, pulling the pillow over his head, trying to block out the light. “Fuck, why do I drink...”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, a knock at the door, hoping whoever it was would go away. 

“Go away!” He cried, when the knock came again, groaning at the door opening anyway.

“I can’t believe you were that drunk, you slept in the same clothes as you wore last night?”

“Fuck off, Jay! My heads banging!”

“Your fault, Ben. No one forced you to drink did they?”

“Stop shouting!” Ben whined, pulling the pillow further over his head. 

“I’m not! Lexi wants you.”

Ben moaned, Jay ripping the pillow off his head. 

“If it weren’t for Callum, you could be god knows where right now?”

“Callum??” Ben frowned. He lifted his head up, looking at Jay. 

“He dropped me a text, said he’d brought you home. You hadn’t even locked your phone, so he got it from there.”

“Wait, so your saying Callum brought me home??”

“Yess! I was looking after YOUR child, who happened to be ill whilst you were wasted.”

“Is she okay?!”

“She’s fine, just felt sick. She’s in her room, but she wants you.”

Ben nodded, relaxing slightly. 

“What you doing, getting drunk like that, Ben??”

“I didn’t plan it? I just...” Ben remembered seeing Callum in the pub, then his head taking over, drinking more and more. “I don’t know...”

“Good job Callum is a decent guy. Anything could have happened to you? You can’t remember a thing can you?”

Ben rubbed his eyes, trying to remember last night. “I remember being sick in a bush?” Ben looked at Jay sheepishly, shaking his head at him. 

“I can’t believe you sometimes?”

“Was I really bad?” Ben winced. 

“You were just getting started when I left.”

Ben groaned, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“I feel terrible...”

“That’s cos you drank way too much?!”

“Not that. I meant getting so drunk and Callum bringing me home.”

“Think you should be thanking a certain someone.”

“I can’t...”

“Too embarrassing?”

“Something like that. I probably looked like a right pillock, I could have said anything.”

“You’ve got to see him sooner or later, you are planning his wedding?”

Ben closed his eyes, dropping back down against the pillow. “Yeah...”

“You like him don’t you?”

“No?”

“Oh come on, Ben? I know you, I see the way you look at him.”

Ben sighed, looking at Jay. “What’s the point, he’s getting married.”

“Normally I’d tell you to go for it, you’ve not been with anyone for so long-“

“Cheers, make me feel better don’t you?”

“You know what I meant, but you can’t go there, Ben? Callum isn’t for you. For a start he isn’t gay, and he’s getting married.”

Ben closed his eyes, knowing in his heart, no matter how much Callum denied it, he wasn’t a straight as he made out to be.

“In other words don’t mess anything up?”

“Your just setting yourself up to get hurt and I don’t want that to happen. You know you can’t go there, so don’t go hurting yourself.”

Ben sighed, part of him knowing Jay was right. He couldn’t afford to let his heart break again. He could barely cope last time, he didn’t know he’d be strong enough to build himself back up again. 

The other half of him wanted to tell Jay he was wrong. That Callum was struggling in his own head. He couldn’t just let him hurt so much either, like he had. 

“You want some breakfast?” Jay asked, shaking him from his thoughts. 

“Argh, no thanks. I can’t even look at food right now, still feel sick to be honest.”

Jay nodded, standing up, Lexi running into the room and jumping on Ben, making him groan slightly. 

“Are you still ill? Cos I want you to take me to the park?!”

“Course not, baby. We can go anywhere you like. You certainly seem better today, Jay’s told me you weren’t feeling very well last night?”

Ben nodded gratefully at Jay, as he left the room. He wasn’t exactly pleased with himself that he got so drunk, already feeling guilty at not being there when Lexi was sick. Just grateful that Jay had come up with an excuse for him. 

“I’m fine now, I really missed you.” 

Ben smiled at Lexi, lying on her back, stretching across him. 

“Missed you more.” He grinned, knowing they’d be here all morning as soon as he said it. 

“No! I missed you more?!”

~*~

Callum closed his eyes, tipping his head back, trying to forget about everything. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ben saying what he did. Still not sure what was right. Ben insisting he knew what he was saying. Callum knew better than to keep going over it, alcohol can do all sorts of things to people, but he couldn’t help it, still stuck in his head. 

Callum looked up at Ben, walking through the park with a little girl, gripping onto his hand a wide smile playing across her face. He presumed that was Lexi. 

Callum buried his head in hands, closing his eyes, everything Ben said last night playing over and over in his head all over again. 

~*~

Callum jumped, Ben appearing in front of him, sitting down opposite him on the bench.

“Before I say anything else, I’m sorry for making you take me home. I’m sorry for whatever I said or did when I was drunk, but I was drunk. Forget anything weird I said.” Ben smiled. 

“You didn’t make me...” Callum whispered, not looking at Ben yet. 

“I’m sorry, Cal, I am. I shouldn’t have got like that, especially when I need to look after Lex. I don’t know what got into me. I just- I don’t know...”

Callum looked up at him, Ben too busy smiling at Lexi on a swing nearby. Ben seemed to be able to say whatever and Callum didn’t care. ‘Callum’, ‘Cal?’ Making lame excuses as why he got drunk. Callum didn’t care, but Ben was here again.

“I didn’t want to leave you...” Callum whispered again. 

Ben looked away from Lexi slowly, meeting Callum’s gaze. 

“Well, Thank You. For not being me and getting drunk.” He smiled. 

“I just didn’t want to anyone to find you like that.”

“Make an embarrassment of myself?!” Ben laughed. “Think I already did that with you, by the looks of it.”

“I meant cos you could have got hurt or something...”

Ben nodded slowly, Callum still looking nervous. He hadn’t spoken to Ben properly since he’d kissed him. Callum actually being honest. 

“I am sorry.” Ben whispered. Neither sure which part he was apologising for now. Being drunk or their argument. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Callum smiled. 

“Cos I don’t want us to be dancing around each other. I preferred it to how it was before.”

“Me too.” Callum whispered, neither looking away from each other. “Erm, I locked you in and posted the key.” Callum said quickly, cursing himself for keep doing that. 

“Thanks. Again.” Ben rolled his eyes, smiling at Callum. “Keep having to thank you, cos I was stupid.”

“Stop thanking me, I did it cos I wanted to, not for thanks.”

“I know.” Ben smiled. 

“Can we just forget about it?”

Ben hesitated knowing he meant Callum kissing him and their argument, not about him being drunk. He nodded anyway knowing not to push Callum back into his defence. 

“It’s already forgotten.” Ben smiled. 

Callum nodded gratefully, looking at Lexi, running over and jumping onto Ben’s knee. 

“Can we have hot chocolate now cos I’m cold and you promised!” Lexi grinned. 

“Did I?!” Ben frowned, pretending to try and remember. 

“Yess!” Lexi giggled. 

“I can’t remember that?” Ben grinned. 

“You did, you did?!” Lexi cried. 

“Well, seeing as it’s you?” Ben smiled, adjusting her properly on his knee. “Callum, Lexi. Lex this is Callum, my...” Ben wasn’t sure what to actually say? Friend? Client? 

“Friend.” Callum finished, smiling at Lexi holding out her hand. “Your very formal.” Callum laughed. 

“Daddy told me that if I’m a princess, I’ve got to be extra polite to people.”

“Oh well in that case if your a princess, it’s lovely to meet you m’lady.” Lexi giggled at Callum bowing to her, loving every minute. 

“I like you.” She grinned. 

“It’s an honour.” Callum smiled. “Hot chocolate for the lady?”

“Yay!” Lexi squealed, jumping up and down on Ben’s knee. 

“You don’t have to do that?” Ben looked at Callum, already standing up. 

“I want to.” He nodded. 

“You and daddy HAVE to have the same as me!”

“Is that an order?” Callum smiled. 

“Yup.” She grinned, looking pleased with herself. 

“Thank you.” Ben smiled. 

“What did I say?”

“Sorry...”

“And that?!” 

“I’ll just sit here and be quiet.” Ben smiled at Callum, watching him walk away. Ben always felt a little happier with Callum around. He hadn’t felt like that in such a long time. 

“You like Callum.” 

“Excuse me?!” Ben looked at Lexi looking between them. 

“He likes you too.”

“Callum is with another person, silly.”

“He likes you!” She insisted. “And you like him.” 

“And how do you know that?” He smiled. 

“Cos you keep STARING at each other and your all smiley.” 

“I’m always smiley?!” 

“Not like that?”

“Like what?!l

“Like this!” Ben smiled at Lexi, grinning widely at him. 

“I do NOT look like that?!”

“Well I like him.” Lexi nodded. 

“Oh is that your seal of approval?!”

“Yep.”

“Only so you can work on wrapping him around your little finger!”

“No cos if he makes you happy, I’m happy!”

“Don’t you worry about me, baby...” Ben sighed to himself, Lexi already jumping off his knee running over to Callum. She could pick up on almost anything. She had already taken a strong liking to him. 

“Did you get cream and sprinkles?” Ben smiled at her running around Callum’s legs, walking back over to them. 

“Cream, sprinkles and marshmallows!” Lexi squealed, jumping back onto the bench next to Callum 

“Am I relegated now?! Ben smiled, taking his drink from Callum, sitting back opposite Ben. 

“Joint first!” She grinned looking up at Callum, cream all over her nose. 

~*~

“I know you’ve banned me, but thank you for this.” Ben looked at Lexi, back on the swings nearby. 

“It’s my pleasure. You’ve done a good job with her.”

“Not all me, Lo and Jay have been better.” 

“I doubt it was all them.” Callum smiled. 

“She really likes you, you’ve made her so happy.”

“I might have given her a sugar rush?” Callum winced, watching Lexi running around the park. 

“She’ll run it off and get tired soon enough.” Ben smiled. “You were really good with her. Your a natural.”

“Whit wants kids...” Callum whispered, staring into his drink. 

“Is that what you want?” 

“I don’t know...”

“I’m sure there’s no rush?” Ben reassured.

“If Whit had it her way we’d already have 10 now!” 

“You want to wait until your married??”

“Something like that...”

“Well, I think you’d make a great dad.”

“You think??”

“You were great with Lex. She loves you already.”

“I just don’t know if I want all that... They always say you’ll want everything with the right person, so why don’t I?” Callum whispered. 

“Maybe your just not ready...” 

Callum looked at Ben knowing he wasn’t talking about kids. 

“You probably think I’m mad.” Callum smiled, trying to make light of it. 

“I think your pretty incredible actually...”

Callum looked back up, Ben’s gaze on him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m doing it again. I really need to keep my mouth shut.”

“You don’t.” Callum shook his head, smiling at Ben. “I like talking to you.” 

“Not many people say that.” Ben smiled. 

“I like being with you too...” Callum added, Ben quickly looking over from Lexi at him, meeting his eyes. “A lot...”


	8. Chapter 8

“Argh, God, what is this?!” Ben cried.

Callum chuckled, Ben glaring at him. 

“It isn’t funny?! All I can taste is that hedious thing!”

“It’s cake, Ben, it isn’t gonna kill you?”

“I would not serve this to my worst enemy on their wedding day?! So why would you??”

“Stop it!” Callum laughed, looking at the waiter, looking unimpressed and shaking his head at them. 

“I’m sorry, but that is NOT cake! Do you seriously like this cake?”

“Well, no, but-“

“Ah! My point proven!” 

Ben grinned at Callum, Callum smiling back at him. 

“How come you both don’t like it?! It’s nice?”

Callum shook his head, tearing his gaze away from Ben, completely forgetting Whitney was with them. 

“Err, it just doesn’t taste nice?” Callum muttered, glancing back at Ben. 

“Fine, may as well you two getting married!” She joked. “You like the same cake, you both like the same everything and here’s me sitting in the middle?”

“Oh give over.” Ben added quickly, looking at Callum, looking like he was going to pass out. “It’s one thing we’ve tried, look we’ll try another.” 

Ben offered Callum a small smile, Callum letting out a small breath, not daring to breathe. 

“Well at least Callum convinced me it was idea for you to come, we’d be lost without you!” She laughed. 

“You did??”

“Well, I just thought, you’d know what you were on about?” Callum added quickly. 

“Right, yeah, course.” Ben searched his eyes, Callum looking away slowly. 

“We’ve got wine tasting later.” Whitney grinned. 

“Think I’ll give that a miss after last time.” Ben smiled. 

“Come with us!” Callum blurted out. “It was once and we don’t care, do we Whit?”

“No, course not, can’t tell you how many times I’ve got myself drunk?”

“We want you to come with us. Whit?”

“Erm, okay then? Course.”

Ben looked unsure, but nodded anyway, Callum smiling at him. 

“Imma go find more cake!” Whitney grinned, disappearing from the table. 

“‘We’ or you, Cal? Cos Whit doesn’t seem that pleased?”

“She’ll be fine. I want you to come...” Callum whispered, looking at Ben. “Please?”

Ben nodded slowly, Callum relaxing slightly. He only seemed happy when he wasn’t alone with Whitney. 

~*~

“You okay?” Callum whispered to him. 

Ben looked up from his glass, looking at him for a long time. “I need to say something to you-“

Ben cut himself off, Whitney appearing again, placing another bottle of wine on the table. 

“This is Spanish they said? I don’t know, it’s wine isn’t it?” She giggled, slightly tipsy. 

“Go on.” Callum nodded, Ben glancing at Whitney, pouring them all more wine.

“Don’t matter, it can wait.” Ben smiled. 

“Sure?” 

“Course. Got this to drink anyway, haven’t we?” Ben overly smiled, changing the subject. 

“Ergh, that’s horrible Whit!” Callum groaned, leaving it on the table. 

“I like it?” She looked at Ben, squinting at it. “Don’t tell me you don’t like it either do you? Everything I like, Callum hates?”

“I can’t help it?!” Callum cried. 

“Not a fan, I’m afraid?” Ben winced. 

“Fine, I’ll just have to go get another instead.” She grinned. 

Ben sat back against his chair, picking up another glass, staring into it. 

He looked up at Callum, laughing at something Whitney said, downing the rest of the wine in his own glass. It was only supposed to be a taste but he felt awkward with them both, sitting in the middle. 

The only way for Callum to relax was when he had a drink.

“I’m gonna go.” He said suddenly. 

“What, why?” Callum frowned. “Thought you were supposed to be helping with these?”

“Jay text, Client called. He needs me to sort it.” Ben cursed himself for the worst excuse he could think of. 

“Oh, okay?”

“I have got other clients too, you know? This is your wedding??” He said a little too harshly. 

“I know.” Callum nodded, looking at Ben. 

“I’m sorry, I just need-“ Ben trailed off, not sure if he was apologising for snapping or because he was leaving. 

Ben sat there for a second longer, Callum tearing his gaze away to listen to Whitney talking to him. 

He took the rest of one of the wine bottles, walking down the street, hopping onto a wall, swigging it out the bottle. 

“Way to go, Ben.” He whispered to himself. For being rude? For enjoying being with Callum way much more than he should? He didn’t know what was going on anymore. 

~*~

“Thought you had to see a client?”

Ben jumped, Callum hopping onto the wall next to him. 

“Where’s Whitney? Shouldn’t you be with her?” Ben said instead, wiping his eyes. 

“She’s calling us a taxi inside, can’t drive now can we? Have you been crying?”

“Course not, I’m fine.”

Ben opened his mouth to protest, but Callum had already taken a drink out of the bottle. 

“What you drowning your sorrows for then?” Callum added, squinting at the label. “Wondered where it went. Some Portuguese wine or something. I don’t know, wine’s wine innit?”

Ben smiled at Callum, swinging his legs on the wall, trying to read the bottle. 

“Suppose.”

“So? Why’d you leave? Cos there clearly is no client.” Callum smiled. 

“You...” Ben whispered. 

Callum looked at Ben, the bottle label forgotten. 

“Me?” 

Ben nodded, taking the wine back, drinking some more. 

“It’s cos I get a bit weird when I’m tipsy isn’t it?”

“No, not that.” Ben smiled. 

“What then?” Callum frowned, scanning his face. 

“There’s no point beating around the bush?” Ben looked at Callum for a while, not sure whether to say it. “I like you, but I can’t sit there when your happy, so I just thought I should leave. I can’t sit there when your with her...”

Callum didn’t say anything for a while, looking at Ben. 

“I don’t make a habit of it you know, incase your wondering. Must have had like fifty clients, never felt like this before.”

“Like what?” Callum whispered. 

“I like you a lot, Cal. Really like you, but you don’t know what it is you want right now, so I came out here and decided for you.”

“Maybe I could have decided on my own?”

Ben looked at Callum, searching his eyes. 

“Your still think your gonna marry Whitney and everything will be just fine. But you and I both know it’s more complicated than that. I know you don’t want me, I’m not stupid, I just don’t want you to do something you don’t want.”

“I’ve never thought you were stupid. I don’t know what to think anymore...”

“I don’t want to hurt you?”

“I know.” Callum nodded. 

“What don’t you think you know anymore then?” Ben whispered. 

“That I met you and now everything’s changed?” 

Callum looked up at Ben, wringing his hands around the bottle. 

“Your different?” Ben started. “I don’t what it is about you, but your different to other guys.” Ben looked at his lap, not wanting to look at Callum, convinced he’d scared him. 

“How?” Callum whispered. 

“You always seem to be able to make me laugh, even though I don’t want to. You always put yourself before someone else, I don’t know, Cal? Everything. Your sweet.”

Callum lifted Ben’s chin gently, looking at him. Ben felt his breathing hitch slightly, just at the simple touch. 

Slowly, Callum leaned forward, falling deeper into his eyes. Ben’s forehead pressed against his, then his nose to his. Ben watched his expression change, and though he couldn’t quite read it, he saw Callum’s eyes lock on his own like magnets, and he felt his face flush with warmth. 

He didn’t object or pull away. Gently, almost imperceptibly, Callum pressed his lips to Ben’s. Not even hesitating this time, ignoring his head and listening to his heart. 

Ben laced his hand through Callum’s hair, pulling him closer, Callum kissing him over and over. 

He could taste the alcohol in both their mouths, but he didn’t care, licking across Callum’s bottom lip. Callum responded within a second, his hands drifting to the back of Ben’s neck, pulling him in deeper. 

Ben pulled away first, barely able to breathe. Callum pressing another kiss to his lips. 

“I really like you, Cal, but I can’t hurt you.”

“Doing what?”

“I kissed you back when I was at home and I let you kiss me now.”

“I’m sorry.” Callum whispered. “I shouldn’t keep doing it to you if I know it was a mistake. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be confusing you too...”

“What is this?” Ben frowned. “One minute you kiss me then say your not gay-“

“You said you wouldn’t that mention it again?!”

“The next, I tell you I like you and you kiss me again? Then say it was a mistake?? All I was saying that I can’t keep feeling what I do, cos it’s Whitney you want.”

Callum looked up at Ben, trying to work him out. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you half the time and I’m just confused?” Ben whispered. “I don’t know what you want?”

“I don’t know...” Callum whispered. 

“Don’t know which part?”

“Everything.” Callum sighed. “I don’t what exactly it is I want but you make me feel different? Like I...” Callum trailed off, looking at the bottle in his hand instead. 

“Wait, are you actually saying you think your-“

“Don’t! Just don’t, please.” Callum closed his eyes, waiting for Ben to keep insisting. 

Ben nodded, Callum actually starting to understand, not wanting to push him back. 

“I’m sorry.” Ben whispered, sliding off the wall. 

“For what?!” 

“Confusing you.” Ben looked up at him, standing in front of his legs. 

“Your not.” Callum nodded. “If anything your making it clearer.”

“Really??”

Callum slid off the wall, looking at Ben, pressed against him. He didn’t say anything for a while, like he was trying to decide. 

“I just meant I thought I was happiest with Whit, but now I’m not so sure...”

“About marrying her? Or?”

“I don’t know if it’s the thought of marrying her and having my life decided for me or because you came into my life...”

Ben gave him a small smile, rubbing his hands down both his arms. He knew Callum must be so scared, all he wanted was to help him accept it, even if it wasn’t with him. 

“I just want you to be happy. Your marrying Whitney in like two and half months, taking a hotel trip in a few weeks. You need to do what you need, not what others want. I know your always trying to be who other people want, I’ve been there.”

Callum didn’t object this time, searching Ben’s eyes, resting his hand in Ben’s. 

“Would you rather be just alright, with Whitney and your whole life planned or be really happy being you? Letting yourself be Callum, with someone who sees you? And I’m not saying that’s me, cos you’ve already said that, I just meant in general. Not who you think people want you to be?”

Ben looked at Callum, saying nothing. Ben took a small step back, instantly feeling the cold between them outside, now they weren’t together.

“Just think about it.” Ben whispered. “Just alright? Or really happy?”

Callum nodded slowly, Ben dropping his hand from Callum’s, leaving him standing next to the wall alone. 

Callum jumped, Whitney appearing next to him, still looking after Ben even though he’d already gone. 

“What you doing out here on your own?”

“Just thinking...” He whispered. 

“You should have waited for me, I came outside then back in and you’d gone, couldn’t find you for ages.”

Whitney frowned at Callum, ignoring her, staring in the direction Ben had gone. 

“You okay?”

Callum looked at Whitney, looking at her for a while. 

“Just alright.” He smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

Jay frowned at Ben, lying across the sofa in the office, swinging his hand down by the side of him. 

“You okay?”

“M’fine. Just tired.” Ben whispered. 

“Your thinking about him, aren’t you?”

“Who?”

Ben looked at Jay, shrugging his shoulders. 

“I ent stupid.” Jay smiled. “Don’t think I don’t notice the way your face lights up every time Callum walks in here.”

Ben sighed, looking back up at the ceiling. 

“I really like him, Jay?”

“I can tell? You’ve been so happy these past few months.”

“I just wish it were easy...”

“I don’t want you getting hurt, either?”

Ben sat up, pulling his knees to his chest, facing Jay. 

“I know you told me not to go there, but he isn’t as straight as you think.”

"Are you sure your not just reading too much into it cos you like him?”

“No?” Ben looked at his lap, wringing his hands together. 

“What? Spill. I know that look.”

“A few weeks ago-“ Ben hesitated, looking up at Jay. “He kissed me.”

“Wait, what?!”

“It sorta went wrong, cos he left in a hurry, but it’s cos he’s scared!”

“Wait, was this before you got drunk?”

Ben nodded slowly, trying to read Jay. 

“And again yesterday...” Ben finished.

“You kept this quiet didn’t you?”

“I thought you’d just tell me to leave it. I can’t, Jay. I know he’s struggling and I just want to help him.”

“Blimey. Don’t hold back with the revelations will you?”

“You asked?!”

“I know.” Jay chuckled. “What about the whole elephant in the room? He’s getting married??”

“I don’t know...” Ben sighed. “I took Lex to the park the other week and he was just sitting at a bench, staring into space. I know he’s really struggling? Sometimes he lets me in, but others he just pushes me away.”

“He’s probably terrified?”

“I don’t know, but I really like him, Jay. He’s funny, kind, everything...”

“Wow, your really falling for him aren’t you?”

“I think so...” Ben smiled. “He’s just really sweet?”

Jay smiled at Ben, lying back across the sofa, smiling quietly to himself. 

“Just don’t go hurting yourself, yeah?”

“I won’t.”

~*~

Ben jumped, looking at his phone ringing. 

“Cal?! Wasn’t expecting a call from you?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice...”

Ben sat down on his bed, looking at the time. Callum calling him at half eleven. 

“You okay??”

“I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I did say I was here if you wanted to offload.” Ben smiled. 

“I just don’t know what to do...” He whispered. 

“About?”

“Everything??”

“I can’t tell you everything that will be the right choice but you just do what you need to.”

“I know.” Callum sighed. “I upset Whit again? Just sitting on the sofa, hoping she’ll be asleep later. She told me everything I was doing wrong earlier. Keep doing things wrong lately.”

“What happened??”

“Just the usual. Apparently not involved enough? I’m not interested?”

“She has got a point?”

“I help?!”

“I know, but your not excited are you?”

Ben heard Callum let out a long sigh on the other side of the phone. 

“Not really...” Callum finally said after a while. 

“She’s just really happy and you aren’t?”

“I want her to happy?”

“I know you do, but you can’t be miserable to make her happy?”

“It’s only two months...”

“Look, I know your still unsure, I can tell her there’s been a mix up with venues and push it forward if it helps?”

“No, it doesn’t matter. Thanks, but you don’t need to do that for me.”

“You still sure it’s just cos your scared or something else?”

“I know what your tryna say, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling right now...”

“So I wasn’t wrong?”

“I didn’t mean that, I just meant...”

Callum trailed off, not wanting to say it. 

“I know it’s hard, but I promise I’m here, yeah?”

“Thank you.” Callum whispered. “I don’t know where I’d be if you weren’t here.”

“Just try and get some sleep, yeah? Your gonna make yourself worse if your just sitting there thinking about it all.”

“I can’t help it...”

“I know. We’ve got to go pick your suit and Whitney’s dress tomorrow.”

“Kinda wish I could see you right now.” “I’m coming tomorrow?” “I just want to talk to you properly...”

“Me too.” Ben whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note :) I do kinda feel sad I’m not doing an advent Ballum fic this year. I had such a lovely response last year, but will hope to do one for another month in the future instead. I’ve been so busy, it took me three months to write them all last year! Anyways, I’m still gonna be writing all your requests and this! Xx


	10. Chapter 10

Callum watched Whitney, already dashing off into the dress shop, stood rooted to the spot. 

“You sure you want to do this?” Ben whispered, standing next to him. 

Callum nodded slowly, looking at Ben lacing his hand around Callum’s. 

“Sure?” 

“I’ll be okay.” Callum insisted, dropping Ben’s hand and following Whitney inside. 

Ben sat on the sofa in the corner, Callum sitting next to him, watching Whitney get excited about every dress. 

“Did she say anything more about it?” Ben whispered. 

Callum frowned at Ben, before remembering. 

“Oh, me not being excited enough? Nah, think she was too excited about this morning.”

Ben nodded, flicking through a random magazine to give him something to do. 

“What about this one?” Whitney grinned at Callum. 

“It’s nice?”

“You look beautiful.” Ben added quickly, noticing Whitney’s face. 

Whitney smiled at Ben, dashing off to find more. 

“Come on, Cal, you gotta try harder than that??”

“I am?! I just don’t know what to say...”

“Something?”

“I know?” Callum sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

“I can’t pick a decent one?” Whitney frowned a while later. 

“Whatever you wear will be lovely.” Callum smiled. 

Whitney smiled even wider, grabbing a suit from the side. “Found this for you though? If you want to try it?”

“Course.” Callum overly smiled. 

“So how does he look?” Whitney smiled, when Callum returned. 

“Gorgeous.” Ben smiled, smoothing down the lapels of his jacket slowly, looking up at Callum, looking awkward standing on a step. 

“That’s what I thought.” Whitney grinned, walking off to look at some other dresses. 

“Wow, you really do look amazing.” Ben whispered. 

Callum stepped down from the step, standing close to Ben. 

“Why are you doing this?” He whispered. 

“Doing what?” Ben frowned. 

“Making me feel like this...”

Ben searched his eyes, Callum looking back at him. 

“Feel like what?” Ben encouraged. 

“Don’t make me say it, Ben.”

“Cos you know it’s true?”

“I can’t...”

Ben smoothed the front of Callum’s suit down, hooking his hands inside it slightly.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I know you don’t.” Callum smiled. “I know...”

Ben looked back up, smiling to himself. 

“You really do have an amazing smile.” Ben whispered. 

“I shouldn’t be feeling like this...”

“Is it so bad?”

“I’m literally trying a suit on to marry someone else.” Callum hesitated, before speaking again. “And here you are...”

“What is it your really afraid of? Admitting the real truth, which still isn’t wrong? Or knowing you don’t want this whole wedding?”

Callum looked at Ben for a long while, finally opening his mouth to speak. 

“There.” Ben smiled, smoothing it down again and taking a step away. Callum could instantly feel the cold between them, not pressed against each other anymore. 

“It just needs to be sorted.” Ben nodded. 

Callum looked confused for a second before Whitney appeared next to him. 

“What about this one?” She grinned. 

Callum looked at Ben, already smiling at Whitney, like none of that had just happened. 

“Callum’s one lucky man.” Ben told her. 

Whitney smiled even wider, turning her attention to Callum. “Well?”

“Yeah, looks good.”

“Just good? Maybe I need to try another?” She frowned. 

“No! You look lovely like that.”

Ben shook his head, looking at Callum, looking terrified. He knew Callum didn’t want to answer Ben so soon, because they both knew the real answer. 

“Swear I ent supposed to see the dress until the day?” Callum frowned. 

“Well we like to be different.” Whitney grinned. 

“Sure do.” Callum whispered. 

Ben laced his hand around Callum’s squeezing it gently. Callum didn’t let go this time, letting him hold his hand. 

“You okay?” Ben asked again. 

Callum nodded, looking at Ben. 

“Thanks.” He whispered. “Just for it all.”

Ben nodded, stroking his thumb across the back of Callum’s hand. 

“I wish you could just tell me what to do and everything will be fine?” Callum whispered. 

“Me too. But I’m not you, you know what you need, not me.”

“I know, I just wish someone would tell me what’s right, cos I keep upsetting Whit, everything’s just wrong...”

“Make it right then?” Ben shrugged. 

“It isn’t that easy?”

“I know. If you need someone, I’m here.” Ben nodded, only letting go of his hand when Whitney came back. 

“You’ll work it out.” Ben smiled. 

“I hope so...”


	11. Chapter 11

“Whit, where are you?? Thought we were supposed to be going to this tasting thingy at the hotel? I can’t go on my own?? And you’ve got the car?! I haven’t upset you again have I? Can you just call me back please?”

Callum groaned, pacing outside the house. Whitney had told him she wouldn’t be that long with a client from her business.

Callum let out a sigh of relief, Whitney calling him back. 

“I’m so sorry, Callum, I’m stuck. I can’t get.”

“What do you mean your stuck?!” Callum cried. 

“The cars broke, took it to the nearest garage and they're gonna take ages.”

“Broke??”

“Look, it took Ben ages to even find us that hotel, he won’t be able to reschedule, we’re getting married in less than two months? Your gonna have to go on your own?”

“I’ll look like a right plank tasting a whole menu on my own?! I’ll cancel it.”

“That’d just be a waste?? And we need this menu for the wedding, Callum? I’m as gutted as you are?”

“Yeah...” Callum didn’t know if he was slightly relieved that she wasn’t going. 

“I’ve got the car, so your gonna have to get the Tube."

Callum nodded to himself, already walking in the direction. 

“You should get there in time if you leave now?” 

“I might give the hotel a miss and just come home after.” Callum told her. 

“If you want. I’ll see you tomorrow anyway. I’m sorry, I’m disappointed too. Love you.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Callum sat down outside the Tube station, dropping his head in his hands. 

He didn’t know if he should be upset or glad?

“You alright??” 

Callum jumped, Ben’s hand resting lightly on his back, looking a little concerned. 

“Yeah, I suppose?” Callum sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

“I’m listening.” He smiled, sitting down next to him. 

“Whit’s not coming to this tasting thingy. She’s stuck with a client or something. And I’m gonna look like a pillock sitting on my own. I just feel so guilty...”

“Guilty?? What for?” Ben frowned. 

“Cos I don’t know whether I’m pleased or not...”

Ben sighed, wrapping his arm around Callum’s shoulders, Callum leaning into him. 

“Why don’t you just pick some stuff that you know you both will like and spend the night in the hotel. I mean those rooms are well fancy, you’ll get the massive bed to yourself anyway?” Ben grinned, trying to cheer him up. 

Ben smiled at Callum, smiling slightly, looking so tired. 

“I might just come home, I can’t be bothered.”

“If that’s what you need then do that.” Ben nodded. 

Callum looked at Ben, straightening himself up, searching his eyes. 

“What?” Ben frowned. 

“Come with me.” He said simply. 

“To the restaurant thingy??”

“Course that, what else?”

“I can’t pick the menu for you?”

“I want you to come, Ben. Please?”

Ben looked at Callum for a while, nodding slowly. 

“Yeah?” Callum smiled. 

“If you want me to.” Ben nodded. 

“I really want you to.” Callum nodded quickly. “I mean we can both just come back after.”

“Well I’ll take us in my car. Come on, it’ll be quicker to get there anyway.”

Callum smiled widely at Ben, jumping up, looking happier since Ben had seen him. 

~*~

“How’s this work then, cos I won’t be able to eat all that??” Callum frowned at the menu. 

“Your supposed to try a little bit of each, you muppet, not the whole thing. Then pick which you’ll like.”

“Right, I knew that?” Callum smiled. 

“Don’t know about you, but I think I need some form of alcohol?” Ben chuckled. “Don’t worry, I won’t get drunk like last time.”

“It’s fine.” Callum smiled. “I don’t mind anyway.”

“I did say thanks for taking me home right?”

Callum nodded, looking up at Ben, searching the drinks menu. 

“Oo, that’s more like it!” Ben grinned. “Wait here, I’ll go get these and get em to bring the stuff for you.”

“Thank you.” Callum looked up at Ben, already standing up. 

“It’s only a drink.” He smiled. 

“No, I meant for everything. Coming with me, just getting me?”

“Couldn’t let you drink alone, could I?” He grinned. 

“I’m glad you came.” 

“Me too.” Ben smiled, looking at him for a long while. “Anyway, drinks and food!” 

Callum watched Ben dash off, looking at a text from Whitney.

‘Did you get there alright? Hope your alright in your own? Love you x’

Callum sighed, looking up at Ben, talking to a barlady, taking drinks from her. 

He didn’t know why he didn’t want to tell Whitney that he wasn’t here alone. It’s not like she’d get annoyed? He just couldn’t be bothered to explain and wanted to breathe for a while? Even it was just for the night. He didn’t want to be grilled all about it as soon as he got in the house. 

‘I’m okay, I’m gonna stay here the night actually. It is paid for anyway?’

~*~

“How much is there here?!”

“Well I ordered everything?!” Ben grinned triumphantly. 

“I can tell?!” 

Callum looked at the table full of different food, not sure where to start. 

“You are helping right?”

“Turn down free food? Do you know me at all?!” Ben grinned.

“Take that as a yes then?” Callum smiled. 

“Not gonna pass at the chance of all this?! You okay though, you look a little pale?” Ben frowned. 

“Yeah, I just don’t wanna do this wrong as well?”

“You won’t. It’s only food, I don’t think she’ll be upset if you pick something she don’t like. It’s supposed to be the day for both of you not just her?”

“How do you always make me feel better?”

“Dunno, must be good at it.” Ben smiled. 

“What’s this then?” Callum asked, tearing his gaze away from Ben’s. 

“Lemme see-“ Ben started, reading the menu. “Apparently it’s pan seared cod with twice cooked potato croquettes?? And pea purée?”

“Fish and chips.” They both said at the same time. 

“How do you even make fish and chips sound fancy??” Callum grinned. 

“Clearly like that? Dunno, but these chips taste great, you gotta have these?”

“I think you’ll find they’re potato croquettes?” Callum chuckled. 

“Of course?!” Ben rolled his eyes, jokingly, eating a few more. 

“God, I can’t try another thing!” Callum sighed, closing his eyes for a few seconds. 

“Arr, come on, what about that bloody gorgeous chocolate cake?”

“You have it, I don’t think I can eat for a week.”

Callum laughed at Ben, sliding it over to himself, looking so excited. 

“Don’t need to ask me twice.” He grinned. “You are staying the night right? Cos you can’t miss out on those rooms, they’re dead fancy.”

“After that, definitely. I need sleep.”

“I’ll grab a taxi, don’t think it’s a good idea to drive?! You can bring my car back in the morning if you want?”

“Thanks.” Callum smiled at Ben, shaking his head at him. “How are you even managing to eat that?!”

“Put it this way, Cal, it takes great skill to leave room for dessert. And this cake is not going to waste.”

“Skill?!”

“Yup.” Ben nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Now I’m glad you asked me to come. And just think of that cake if I wasn’t here?”

“Poor cake? Thought you said we’ve got to try it, not eat the whole thing?” Callum chuckled. “Seriously, thanks for coming with me though. I haven’t have this much fun in ages. It’s been really nice.”

“Yeah, me too.” Ben smiled.

“You done? Or is there some other cake that needs saving?”

“Nope, I’m all good.” Ben grinned. “I’ll walk with you to your room, forgot to give em to you earlier.”

Callum nodded, taking the room key from Ben, following him. 

They both stood outside, the room in silence, neither not sure what to say. 

“Well I best be off, it’s a long way.”

“Make sure you get home safe.” Callum nodded. 

“I will.” Ben smiled. 

Callum watched Ben walking away, sighing to himself, knowing all along what he wanted. 

“Stay!” He blurted out. 

Ben turned around walking slowly back to him. 

“Really?”

“Stay.” Callum nodded more sure. “I’ll have the sofa-“

“No, no I will. You are the client after all.” He smiled. 

“If your sure?”

“Course. You sure, cos I can just call a cab now?”

“No, Please? Stay.” Callum nodded.

Ben nodded, searching Callum’s eyes, trying to work out if he wasn’t actually sure. 

“I really want you to stay with me.” Callum whispered, nodding at Ben. 

“Woah...” Ben whispered to himself looking around the room. 

“M-h.” Callum agreed, both standing just inside the room. 

“Could fit the whole house in here.” Ben chuckled.

“Oh my god, that is the biggest bed I have ever seen in my life.” Callum grinned, sitting down on it. 

“Even this sofa huge?!” Ben grinned, lying across it. 

Callum smiled at Ben, making sure he was fully stretched across the sofa, folding his arms behind his head, closing his eyes for a while. 

“God, this is great.” Ben grinned to himself. 

Callum walked across the room into the bathroom, looking inside there too. 

“That a bath or a swimming pool?”

Ben stood beside him, grinning to himself. “Definitely a swimming pool. Who even needs a bath that big?” He chuckled. “May I interest you in... oo, strawberry scented shampoo?” Ben grinned, giving it to Callum. 

“May as well have a bath and use it while I’m here.” Callum grinned. 

“Great, you do that, imma go raid the mini bar.”

“Trust you to be looking for alcohol!”

“What can I say, I’m a man of simple pleasures?”

Callum shook his head at Ben, watching him dashing off. Leaning against the doorframe, smiling at Ben getting excited about everything, he didn’t even regret it this time, asking him to stay, not feeling guilty that he was trying to avoid Whitney. It was just nice to feel happy for a change.


	12. Chapter 12

Callum sighed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. All he could think about was the wedding getting closer and closer. 

Callum turned to the side, just about able to make out Ben’s figure on the sofa, in the dark. He’d never really had the time to just let himself think. The perfect opportunity, feeling better than any other day. He couldn’t tell himself whether that was because Whitney wasn’t with him or because Ben was there. 

Callum smiled to himself, his mind seemingly drifting back to Ben a lot recently, noticing how he was different. Special even. His smile, his laugh, the way Ben could make him laugh too or even just make him feel that little bit better. Ben understood. 

“You still awake?” Callum whispered. 

“Yup.” Ben huffed. “Not just me staring at the ceiling then?”

“You alright?” 

“Yeah, just thinking...” 

“About?” 

“You actually...” 

Callum sat up looking at Ben already sitting up hugging his knees. 

“Me??”

“I just feel like you don’t want any of this.” 

Ben noticed Callum sitting up, dragging himself off the sofa crossing the room. 

Callum didn’t answer him, Ben sitting on the edge of the bed, next to him, turning a small light on, looking at him. 

“Which part...”

“What do you mean?” Callum frowned at him. 

“I just wanna know what it is that you really want? Not what your heads telling you. Cos I don’t want you going ahead and marrying Whit if it’s not what you truly want?”

Callum didn’t say anything, looking at Ben for a long while. 

“I was just thinking about you too, actually.” Callum said instead. 

“Yeah?”

Callum nodded, searching Ben’s eyes. Ben reached forward slowly, stroking Callum’s hair away from his eyes.

“Just that you’ve been so good to me.”

“Just want you to be happy.” Ben smiled. 

“I am.” Callum nodded. 

“All the time?”

“Right now I am.” 

Ben smiled at Callum, frowning at him shuffling a little further across the bed. 

“What you doing?”

“Moving up? So you can get in.”

“The sofa?” Ben reminded him. 

“I don’t want you lying on the sofa all night. Just get in.” Callum shuffled a little further across, opening the cover for him. 

“This ent gonna make you comfortable, Cal...”

“Ben, I would’ve kicked you out and back onto the sofa if I didn’t want you here?” Callum smiled. 

“You sure??” Ben made sure, Callum nodding quickly. 

“Yes! You could fit like four people in this bed?”

They both lay facing each other, neither speaking for a while. 

Ben spread his hand across Callum’s curling their fingers together. Callum hesitated before slowly closing his fingers around Ben’s hand, neither saying anything just looking at each other. 

“You never did tell me, why you haven’t got yourself a boyfriend?”

Callum saw Ben’s face drop, instantly regretting asking. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay, don’t be sorry. It’s just hard to talk about it...”

“What happened?” Callum whispered. 

“I didn’t not tell you before because I don’t trust you, I just didn’t want to scare you?”

“Scare me?” Callum frowned. 

“He died about three years ago-“

“Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“I just never let myself get close to someone again, incase they got taken away from me again...”

Callum squeezed Ben’s hand in his own, Ben giving him a small smile. 

“Some idiots attacked us, cos we were together. And he didn’t make it...”

“Were you okay??”

“Physically after, yeah, but it broke me. I just don’t wanna scare you into thinking it’s wrong, when it isn’t.”

“I’m glad you think you can trust me to tell me.” Callum smiled. 

“I do.” Ben nodded.

“You’ll find someone special one day. I know you will.”

“You know how I feel about you, Cal, but life doesn’t work like that. There is no prince to save the princess from a tower. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.”

“What if... what if there wasn’t a princess that needed saving?” 

Ben frowned at Callum, not following. 

“What if there was another prince...”

Ben searched his eyes, looking at Callum. 

“Wait, are you actually saying...” He’d never admitted it before. To anyone. Not even to Ben. That Callum really was gay. He’d been trying to get Callum to accept it for months, getting nowhere each time. Callum either avoided the subject altogether or changed the subject every time Ben tried.

Callum pushed himself up, looking at Ben, Ben briefly looking at Callum’s hand splayed across his chest, holding himself up, before looking back up at Callum. 

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. More and more. And I’m saying...” 

Callum’s eyes flicked to his mouth, looked slightly unsure for a second before meeting Ben’s eyes again, his face softening. He leaned down slowly, pressing his lips against Ben’s. 

Ben let go of Callum’s hand, holding his face gently in his hands, kissing him back. It felt like a lifetime, not realising how much he’d missed Callum from the first time. 

“I saying I like you.” Callum whispered.

“You what?!” Ben looked at Callum, convinced he’d just imagined it. 

“You heard.” Callum nodded. "I really like you too, Ben...”

“Really like or just maybe like?” Ben whispered, searching his eyes. 

“Really really...” Callum whispered to him, leaning down and kissing him again. 

Ben ran his hands up Callum’s shirt, kissing him with more urgency. 

“What did you say when I first met you?”

Ben smiled, running his hands across Callum’s back. 

“Your in safe hands.” Before leaning up to kiss him again. “And I meant it. Then and now.”

“Ah, but you did promise it would go smoothly. I don’t think it fully is?” 

“Excuse me, I think you’ll find I promised you would be in safe hands not that it would go smoothly. 

“Hmm, if you say so.” Callum squinted at him. 

“I know so.” Ben grinned. 

Callum rolled his eyes at Ben, kissing him slowly over and over again, pulling Ben closer to himself. 

“You did use that strawberry shampoo didn’t you?” Ben smiled. 

“It was free, course I did!” Callum grinned. “Why?”

“Cos you smell like it.” Ben whispered, running his hands through Callum’s hair. “And you smell good.”

“Oh, really?” 

“M-h...”

Callum could think about nothing else right now, ignoring his head and kissing Ben as much as he could, feeling some kind of release. 

He didn’t think he’d ever felt a feeling like it before, dropping his head back, letting Ben kiss his neck. 

“You really are gorgeous, you know that?” Ben whispered, smiling at Callum. 

Callum shushed him, reconnecting their lips instead, pulling Ben closer. 

“You might not think it, but I do.”

Everything that was happening to him right now, felt so amazing. Ben’s aftershave still clinging to his body, Ben’s hands everywhere. His warm mouth travelling down his neck.

“Let me look after you. Just for tonight.” Ben whispered.

Callum nodded, Ben pressing a hard kiss to his lips, stroking his hair. 

“Your amazing. Inside and out.” Ben smiled, before shuffling slightly further down the bed and Callum’s body.


	13. Chapter 13

Callum closed his eyes, feeling so guilty. Ben lay on his chest, still asleep, their legs tangled together. Ben’s hand still locked around his own, his other arm wrapped around Callum’s waist. 

Callum squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to remember anything about yesterday or last night, but it was no use. The whole day and night burned into his mind. 

He picked up their hands, looking at his watch, Ben holding on a little tighter, groaning at the time. 

Callum slid out of bed, Ben stirring, squinting through his eyes.

“What you doing?” He frowned, squinting through one eye, squeezing it shut again. 

“We need to go, Ben, it’s half ten?? We need to be out in half an hour.”

Ben groaned, burying his head in the pillow. 

“Come back to bed for a bit?” He whined, holding his hand out for Callum. 

His heart wanted nothing more, just the two of them away from the real world. He hesitated for a second, his head coming to his senses, putting his shirt on. 

“Come on, Ben, I didn’t know it was this late?”

“Must have tired us both out last night?” Ben sighed in content, watching Callum doing up his shirt. 

“Don’t Ben...” Callum whispered. 

“What?! I didn’t hear you complaining? Well I heard you quite a lot actually?” Ben grinned to himself.

“Ben, don’t?! Come on!” 

“You should think yourself lucky, I ent a Top for anyone? You Callum are special.”

“I don’t care if your a Top or a Bottom! All I care about is getting you out of that bloody bed?!”

“Jeez, someone got out the wrong side of the bed this morning?” Ben huffed, sitting up slowly, rubbing his eyes. “We’ve got loads of time, stop worrying?”

“I ent worried about making sure we go on time, Ben?? No, I shouldn’t have even let you in the damn room, let alone the bed.”

“Wait, what?” Ben frowned, still watching Callum trying to sort his messy out. 

“Come on, please Ben!” 

“You saying you regret it already?”

“Yes, Ben! I just cheated on my fiancé? To make it even worse, with a guy?”

“Oi! That ‘guy’ is sitting right here you know?!”

“You should be up and getting some clothes on! Whit will be wondering where I am?”

Ben rolled his eyes, dragging himself out of bed. 

“Whitney didn’t even know I was here, so why you stressing so much??”

“I still slept with you, Ben?!” Callum groaned, picking up Ben’s jeans from the floor and throwing them at him. 

“I thought we were getting somewhere...” Ben whispered, Callum still trying to hurry him up. 

“I was drunk last night?!” Callum cried. 

“Oh come Callum, don’t use that one? We had few drinks, yeah, but you were practically sober?! You practically told me you were gay.”

“I’m not!” Callum cried. “I never said it?”

“You as good as?! Neither of us was anywhere near drunk. Stop making excuses and just listen to me?”

“No, Ben, cos last night shouldn’t have happened and I shouldn’t have asked you to stay, I just...” Callum trailed off, looking Ben. 

“Why can’t you see it?” Ben tried. 

“Stop looking at me like I’m some wounded puppy?! I just needed to be with someone and you were there?”

“That’s not true and we both know it. You wouldn’t invite any random person in your room.”

“What do you want me to say, Ben?? That I let you in cos I know you? Cos I wanted you here? Cos it’s you I want and not Whit? I don’t know, cos I need you??”

Callum cut himself off, realising what he’d said. Ben stopped, looking at Callum for awhile, before walking slowly over to him. 

“I want you to say what you feel?” Ben nodded. 

Callum shook his head, still trying to convince himself. He looked at Ben, his eyes flicking between his eyes and his lips. “I can’t...”

“I know.” Ben whispered. “Not right now maybe, but you shouldn’t force yourself into something cos you think it’s gonna make all this go away? You aren’t gonna feel differently just cos you’ve got a piece of paper to say your married to a woman? Your still gonna feel that need, even if you try and push it to the very back of your mind. It will always be there...”

Callum didn’t say anything, not moving, letting Ben hold the side of his face gently, getting him to look at him. 

“I know I keep telling you to accept how you feel, but I gotta do the same?” 

Callum frowned at Ben, searching his eyes. 

“What you saying?”

“You make me feel a feeling that I’ve never felt before. I don’t know exactly, but that only makes me want you more. You said last night I’ll find someone special one day, but I already have, Cal. Cos your right here? You ARE special, Callum and I don’t want anyone else? I’m not gonna find someone who is everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I’m nobody’s but yours, cos whenever your ready, I’m here.”

Callum shook his head slowly, looking terrified. 

“Why are you saying all this?!” Callum whined, trying to make him stop. 

“Cos I love you, Callum. I should have said last night but I-“

“Don’t say that, please don’t say that. You can’t...”

“Please Cal, just listen to me.”

“I can’t! You can’t! We can’t! Why would you say that?!”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true? I know it’s hard for me to bring down my walls, but with you I feel like I can, Cal? I feel like I can love again. Cos I do? I really love you.”

Callum pulled Ben’s hands off his face, taking a step away from him. 

“Please, no. Please, Ben, stop saying that, cos it ent true?! You don’t love me? You can’t love me. Just please!”

“I know your scared, Cal, but I swore I’d help you and I will-“

“You can’t help me! I don’t need your help cos I’ve already said last night was wrong?!”

Ben shook his head at Callum, knowing he wasn’t going to get through to him, putting his defence back in place again. 

“It wasn’t, Callum?! We both wanted last night to happen, so don’t tell yourself it was a mistake!”

“I slept with you, Ben?! I shouldn’t have! I’m supposed to be getting married and I cheated on her?!”

“There’s no convincing you is there?!” Ben cried. “You kiss me then say it was a mistake? You kiss me AGAIN then say you aren’t gay?! You SLEEP with me, then tell me it was a mistake and you still aren’t gay?! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Callum? You say you like being with me or you like me or I don’t know!” Ben groaned running his hands through his hair. “But then tell me to do one? Your telling me two different things?”

“I’m sorry-“ Callum tried, Ben spinning around, glaring at him. 

“And quite frankly it’s confusing Callum?!” 

“You have no idea what your doing to my head!” Callum frowned, Ben actually laughing. 

“Why can’t you see it?! Are you seriously still trying to deny the fact that YOU. ARE. GAY. CALLUM!”

“I’m marrying Whitney?!” 

“It doesn’t make it any less true?!”

Callum groaned chucking Ben’s shirt at him, forgetting that he still hadn’t Ben got one on.

“You invited me in the room, Callum! You let me in the bed, you kissed me first, you went along with the whole damn metaphor thing. Fucking Prince thingy. You were the one who said you liked me!! You went ahead and slept with me, Callum?! Stop trying to kid yourself into thinking your not gay! If anyone’s confused here it’s definitely me?! You tell me one thing them do another?!”

Callum groaned, swinging the door open.

“Where you going now?!”

“Home! Where else?!” Callum cried. 

“Cal, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said half that, you just won’t let me help you?”

“I don’t NEED. YOUR. HELP!” Callum insisted, leaving Ben behind. 

Ben groaned to himself, throwing his shoe at the door, after Callum slammed it, trying to take his anger out on something. Anything. 

~*~

“Bet you two had a nice time?”

“Err, we’re not...” Ben started, walking over to the reception desk. 

“I mean, I’ve seen the size of those rooms!” The receptionist chuckled to herself. 

“Err, yeah, it was lovely?” Ben said instead. He couldn’t be bothered right now, just wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. 

“I seen the two of you giggling together at the restaurant last night. You looked like you were both having a great time.” She smiled. 

“Right.” Ben sighed, sliding the keys onto the side for her, glancing at Callum pacing near the front entrance. 

“Well, I reckon you make a cute couple.” She finished. 

“Thanks anyway.” Ben said instead. 

“You had a lovely time?!” Callum hissed as soon as they were outside. “Cute couple?!”

“What was I supposed to say, Callum?! That I’ve just slept with the groom of another woman?! Oh, yeah, it was great?!”

“Argh, your so impossible!”

“Yes, maybe I am. But I keep saying over and over that you don’t want this wedding. You know it and I know it!!”

“I ent going over this again?” Callum cried, walking straight to the car instead. 

Neither of them spoke the whole way home, Callum looking out of the window instead, trying to avoid any conversation with Ben at all. 

Ben pulled up, Callum opening the door quickly. 

“Cal, wait. Please?” Ben tried. 

Callum sighed, closing the door, looking at Ben. 

“Go on.” 

“I’m sorry, okay, for most of the stuff I said.”

Ben thought he’d have the chance to cool off on the long drive. 

“You said?”

Ben sighed, Callum looking back out of the window again, being so blunt. 

“I’m not sorry for saying it wasn’t a mistake though.” Ben finished. “Cos I can’t help it, but I do love you-“

“But it was, Ben?! I’m with Whit and I should never have even thought about cheating on her, but I did anyway??”

“If you were really that happy, you wouldn’t have.” Ben whispered. 

“I’m sorry, Ben, but I’m not the special person you think I am?”

“You are to me...”

Callum looked at Ben for awhile, reminding himself of Whitney, tearing his gaze away from him. 

“Last night should not have happened, Ben...”

“Are you saying that last night meant absolutely nothing to you? Cos it weren’t like that for me, Cal...” 

Callum hesitated, closing his eyes for a second. 

“Yes, Ben. Cos I don’t love you! I love Whit and I wanna be with her...”

“You keep telling yourself that...” Ben whispered. 

Ben didn’t wait for Callum to get out of the car, instead getting out as quickly as possible and slamming the front door, before heading into the office. He was glad Jay wasn’t in, locking himself in and sliding down down the door. 

Ben didn’t know when exactly he’d started crying, not caring, letting his sobs fill the room. 

~*~

Callum walked in the front door slowly, Whitney immediately there, wrapping her arms around him. 

“Missed you. Was it alright?”

Callum stood rooted to the spot, hugging her back for a few seconds, before pulling away. 

“Yeah, it was fine. I’ll show you what I picked later, I wanna lie down for a bit, got a banging headache.”

“Have you changed your aftershave?” Whitney frowned. 

“No? Why?” 

“Smells different.”

“Oh! Yeah, there were like these little toiletries in the hotel room.” Callum blurted out quickly. 

He could still smell it on himself. Ben’s aftershave all over him. Ben’s scent. 

“Thought it was different.” She smiled. Callum nodded nervously, looking at Whitney. 

“You know what it smells like actually?”

“What??”

“Ben.”

“Ben?! Why’d you think that. Don’t think it does to me?” 

Callum walked away, hoping that she wouldn’t ask anymore questions, heading to the stairs. 

“Cos every time we go to the office it smells like that. Or maybe it’s Jay?” 

“It’s fine, Whit, it’s probably just from the last time I saw him?!”

“Alright, no need to snap? I was just saying?” Whitney frowned. 

“Just leave it would you?!”

“What’s up with you??”

Callum sighed, turning around to Whitney. “I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling good.”

“You okay?” 

Callum nodded, Whitney looking him over, concerned. 

“I’ll be fine once I’ve had a lie down.” He smiled. 

Callum left her, closing the bedroom door, sliding down the door slowly, hugging his knees to his chest tightly. 

He could still smell Ben’s scent on him, letting his tears slip down his face. He held his hand over his mouth, muffling his sobs, trying to keep himself quiet, squeezing his eyes shut.


	14. Chapter 14

‘I know I’ve probably got no right to ask, but can you just call me back, I wanna know if your okay? Well your probably not but I’m sorry, yeah? For some of the stuff I said. All of this just... scares me?’

Ben rolled his eyes, chucking his phone on the side, ignoring the voicemail from Callum.

“Who’s that?” Jay frowned. 

“No one.”

“You’ve had a face on ya all morning?”

“M’fine.” He huffed. 

“Is it Callum?”

“Why is everything always about him, Jay?! I’m fine!”

“Take that as a yes then?” Jay raised his eyes at Ben, rolling his eyes. 

“Fine, maybe it is then? But I’m still perfectly fine.”

“Tell that to your face.”

“It doesn’t matter, there’s no point talking about it, I’m not gonna see him much anymore anyway.”

“The wedding is in a few weeks isn’t it?” Jay frowned. 

“Everything is sorted. All Callum has gotta do is get Whitney down the aisle and his life is ‘perfect’...”

“What about you?”

“Don’t matter about me does it? Callum outright told me Whitney makes him happy, can’t exactly do anything can I?”

Ben sighed, his phone ringing again. 

“Why don’t you just answer it? Tell him how you really feel.”

“He knows exactly what I feel. And he couldn’t care less.”

“I’m sure that’s not true-“

“Can we just change the subject please?!” Ben cried. 

“Okay?” Jay held his hands up in surrender, Ben resting his head on the table, squeezing his eyes shut.

~*~

Ben had managed to avoid him for a few more weeks, desperately hoping he’d stop loving him if he didn’t see him anymore. 

The wedding was only two weeks away, the other half of him, dying to see Callum again to at least try and make Callum see sense. They both knew Callum didn’t want the wedding. 

‘Can you meet me in the Vic?’

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, chucking his phone on the sofa next to him, curling himself into a ball. He just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. 

‘Please? X’

Ben cursed to himself, staring at that single kiss. Why did he have to go and do that. That single kiss making everything he’d tried to feel go away, flooding straight back to him. 

Everything was telling him it was such a bad idea but he dragged himself off the sofa anyway, sighing to himself. 

~*~

Ben spotted Callum, sitting down opposite him. 

“This gonna take long, I’ve got stuff to be doing?” Ben sighed, trying to convince himself, he hadn’t been desperate to see him for weeks. 

“I got you a drink? Well, two cos I didn’t know what you wanted, so I got a whiskey and a pint? I don’t know...”

Ben hadn’t realised how much he’d missed Callum. Waffling everytime he got nervous.

“I called you.” Callum whispered after awhile, both sitting in silence. 

“I know.” 

Callum sighed, Ben refusing to look at him, being blunt, watching him down the whiskey in one, grabbing the pint too. 

“I called you about 1000 times...”

“Don’t worry I won’t tell her what we got up to.”

“I didn’t wanna see you because of that? Well it is, but not cos I’m worried you’ll tell her.”

Ben looked up at Callum slowly, searching his eyes. 

“What then??”

“I’m sorry... for everything I said.”

“Is that before we slept together, with you actually being honest?? Or the morning after you threw abuse at me.”

Callum sighed, Ben staring into his lap again, refusing to look at him. 

“I’m just sorry for hurting you...”

“You told me you liked me, let me fall in love with you... Then go and rip it from me and tell me everything was a mistake, leaving me nowhere.”

“I’m sorry, Ben, I am. I’ve never wanted to hurt you, I’m just scared of the truth...”

Ben looked up slowly again, Callum’s turn to look anywhere but at Ben this time. 

“And what’s that?” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t tell you how I feel, Ben... Cos then it will be real...

Callum looked up meeting Ben’s eyes.

“I’ve tried helping you, Callum? But you won’t let me in...”

“I’m trying? I’m scared...” 

Ben watched Callum wringing his hands together, looking like he was going to be sick. 

“I’m terrified actually, cos I know...”

“Go on.” Ben nodded. If he said it, maybe he’d realise that it really was true. 

“I can’t...”

Ben sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “Why did you ask me here really, Callum?”

“I don’t regret it?” He blurted out, quickly. 

Ben looked up slowly, Callum looking back at him. 

“I don’t want it to be a mistake, I didn’t think it was...” Callum whispered. 

“Then why say it was?”

“Cos I don’t want either of you to get hurt and cos I’m selfish and don’t want myself to get hurt?”

“You ent selfish.” Ben whispered. 

“I’ve said some horrible things to you, I’m constantly lying to Whit. I’d say I was pretty selfish?”

“Your scared. I get it. All I wanted was to help you, make you see that you can’t just marry her and everything you’ve ever felt will just go away?”

“Can we go somewhere else? I don’t wanna do this here...”

Ben didn’t say anything, standing up, waiting for Callum. 

Callum followed him not sure where he was taking him, neither speaking in the way. 

Ben unlocked the office door, opening it for Callum. 

Callum walked in slowly, watching Ben close the door behind him, grabbing a bottle from the fridge and sitting down on the sofa. 

“You were saying?” Ben looked at Callum, just standing in the middle of the room. 

He sat down slowly next to Ben, taking a glass from him. 

“More free Prosecco?” Callum smiled. 

“Please Callum, just say what you need to? I know your scared but delaying whatever you’ve got to is just gonna make you feel worse, I need-“

“I still really like you, Ben.” Callum blurted out quickly. “A hell of a lot.”

Ben looked up quickly at Callum, not quite sure whether he actually said it or not. 

“You told me it was all a mistake...” Ben whispered. “Insisted you were drunk, telling me I was so wrong...”

“I didn’t mean any of it...”

“So what then? What you actually saying?”

“I can’t be with her for the rest of my life, cos I’m gay...” He whispered. 

Callum looked up from his lap, Ben actually choking on his drink. 

“Are you being serious??”

Callum nodded slowly, Ben searching his eyes. 

“Why couldn’t you just tell me all that before? We both knew it was true but you still pushed me away.”

“Cos I don’t know what to do...” 

“Hey, don’t cry?” Ben shuffled a little closer to Callum, wrapping his arms around him, melting into Ben, sobbing to himself. “Can’t believe you actually said it...”

“Cos I know but I was just too much of a coward to admit it, even though I knew damn well you were right all this time.”

“Your not a coward, Cal? Trust me, I was just as scared as you are now? But when you let yourself admit it, it gets a little bit easier.”

Callum looked up at Ben, wiping away his tears with his thumb gently. 

“Just a little bit?”

“It’s a start.” Ben smiled. 

“What about Whit...”

“That’s why I said a little bit? But don’t worry about that right now. Right now, you don’t know what you want really? But it’s okay, cos I’m here, yeah?”

Callum nodded, Ben holding the sides of us face gently, stroking him lightly. 

“It stuck with me, you know. What you said when I first met you?”

“What?” Callum frowned. “I’ve said a lot in nearly six months.”

“You said you needed to be someone who she wanted you to be. But what about you?”

“I can’t hurt her, Ben?”

“Who do you want to be?”

“Me...”

“Callum who’s with Whitney or the real you?”

“You know the real me.” Callum whispered, standing up. 

Ben looked at Callum, still looking terrified, pacing slightly. 

“I remember my mum told me once that I need to slow down every once in a while. She told me just to close my eyes and forget about everything for a while. I know you feel like you can’t now, but just try it, helps you stop torturing yourself in your head.”

Callum smiled at Ben, standing next to him, closing his eyes just breathing. 

“And think about what it is you want. Puts things into perspective. It’ll work it’s self out somehow. There’s always a way. Don’t know why I’m saying this actually, never listen to my mum usually?”

Ben sighed not expecting Callum to kiss him. He didn’t know how long it lasted but he didn’t ever want it to end. Ben kissed him back, gently holding the side of his face, pulling him closer. 

“I want you.” Callum whispered. 

Ben pulled away, searching Callum’s eyes. 

“Really??”

Callum nodded, pulling Ben’s back to him, the next thing he knew he was pressed up against the wall and Callum’s body, his mouth on Callum’s- hard, demanding, and desperate.

It only took him a moment before he responded to the kiss. Callum holding Ben’s face steady, pulling him even closer, not caring about anything but Ben.

He just wanted Ben close, closer than right now, closer than he even could imagine. The friction wasn't enough, Callum lunged forwards, pressing his mouth against Ben’s a little harder. 

Ben let out a small moan into Callum’s mouth, lacing his hand through Callum’s hair, remembering the feeling of his hair between her fingers. God, it felt much better than last time. 

Callum’s hands had left his face and wandered down, pulling Ben’s waist to him, letting out a deep animalistic groan into Ben’s mouth at the feel of them pressed together. 

Ben let Callum pick him up, wrapping his leg around Callum being a soundless order and satisfaction rushed through his body as Callum’s hands grabbed his thighs and pulling him up, pressing his back even further into the wall, slowly breaking the heated kiss.

Ben smiled at Callum, his eyes filled with want and lust, not looking sacred of anything anymore. 

“I want you.” Callum whispered again, dropping Ben back down. 

Ben said nothing, pressing his mouth back against Callum’s, walking them both over to the sofa, pushing him down and sitting down with him, crawling on top of Callum.


	15. Chapter 15

Ben sat on the sofa, looking up at Callum, not speaking, being too quiet. 

He was stood the other side of the room, buttoning up his shirt and trying to sort out his messy hair. 

“Do you regret it this time?” Ben whispered. 

“I never regretted the first time, I was just-“ Callum closed his eyes for a second, sighing to himself. 

“Scared of the truth? You’ve said it out loud now. It will get easier.” Ben nodded. “Come and sit back down or are you gonna run out on me again?”

“No, course not.” Callum crossed the room, sitting back down next to Ben, lacing his hand around Ben’s. 

“Why you so quiet then?”

“Cos I’m still cheating on Whit, Ben? She hasn’t done anything wrong, I just feel so guilty...”

“I know you do.” Ben whispered, squeezing his hand. 

“I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t hurt you either.” 

Callum looked at Ben, searching his eyes, wishing there was some easy way.

“You’ve changed so much since I met you.” Ben smiled, looking at their hands joined together. 

“Good or bad?” Callum squinted. 

“Good!” Ben laughed, reaching up with his free hand, shaking his hair free again so it was messier. “You were so nervous around everyone and everything but now? Your so much more alive? You smile more, you look happier and that’s because your being you, not who you think people want you to be. If you asked me, I definitely prefer this Callum.” 

Callum smiled at Ben, not ever wanting to leave, it was nice just the two of them away from the real world. 

“I knew right from the start, I could talk to you easily. I didn’t know what it was but there was something about you. You’ve helped me change, made me a better person.”

“Nah, you already had it in you, you just needed encouragement?”

“Before you, I felt like I was drowning all the time, trying to be perfect, trying to be right, but you have taught me so much. That I didn’t need to do that? That it’s okay to be who I want not what everyone else wants. You helped me to breathe again.”

“Told you, you already had it in you, your just speaking it aloud now?” Ben smiled. 

Callum let go of his hand, holding Ben’s face in his hands gently, pressing their lips together. 

“You saw me? And I’ll always be grateful for that.” Callum whispered, kissing him again. 

“You know I really want all this, but I can’t keep doing this.” Ben whispered, kissing him again anyway. 

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” 

“I know.” Ben smiled, stroking the side of his face lightly. “You know I love you, but I can’t keep doing this forever, you need to talk to her.”

“I can’t?! It’ll break her heart.”

“You don’t love her, Cal? Not like that anyway and your making it harder for yourself.”

“I know.” Callum sighed. I just wanted to make everyone happy...”

“But what about what you want? What about you being happy?”

“I am? Now I am anyway, I just don’t wanna be the cause of upsetting her.”

“Your gonna have to one day, Cal, cos you said it yourself. You don’t want to marry her?”

“The wedding’s in two weeks, Ben...”

Ben held Callum’s face in his hands, trying to get him to look at him. 

“Look at me, Cal?”

Callum looked up slowly, meeting Ben’s eyes. 

“You need to tell her?”

“Not now...”

“Maybe not this second, but before you marry her? Your still thinking about marrying her are you?” Ben frowned. 

“I don’t know, Ben?!” Callum stood up, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. 

“I can’t wait for you if you marry her...” Ben whispered. 

“I can’t, Ben! Not in two weeks?!”

“Your gay, Callum! You don’t love her and she needs to know? How long are you gonna leave it after you marry her??”

“I would tell her, I just need more time?!”

“More time is gonna make it even worse. I can’t believe your actually still gonna go through with it?”

“Your practically making me choose?!”

“You’ll marry her and tell me you’ll tell her, it’ll be months and you still won’t tell her? Months will turn into years? I can’t keep seeing you behind her back? It’s not fair on anyone. You? Me? Or Whitney?”

“I will, I swear-“

“What’s the point in marrying her if your gonna break her heart anyway?”

“That’s not fair?!” Callum cried, spinning around, facing Ben. 

“Isn’t it?! It might be selfish, but what about me??”

“You know I don’t wanna hurt you either?!”

“But you are?! You are, Callum...”

“I can’t just see you the odd time, Callum, when it’s ‘safe’ or whatever. I want to see you all the time not just for meaningless sex and your gone again. I want it all with you, Callum, the proper thing?!”

“I can’t...” Callum whispered. 

“It doesn’t matter...” Ben sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“What do you mean??”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do any of it. Jay told me this would happen, I should have just listened to him instead of being a mug and believing that I can persuade you to stop all this?”

“I need more time?”

“I need you?! But I can’t have it when your a married man, Callum? I’m sorry but I won’t do it to any of us.”

“Come on, Ben?”

“No, Callum?!” He cried. “I’m not gonna hurt myself even more anymore?! It’s crazy your gonna marry her and then tell her anyway? Why do you think that’s a good idea?!”

“It’s not! It’s all I’ve got right now?”

“You had me?! I was still here!”

“Had?” Callum whispered. 

“I can’t love you anymore, Callum...”

“You literally just said to me?!”

“I won’t do it again...”

“Just like that??”

“You’ll be surprised what I can do to protect myself, Callum. I have to...”

“Please, Ben?!”

“Just go and marry her and we can go our separate ways. You won’t ever have to see me again.”

“I want to?!” Callum cried, walking towards Ben. 

Ben stepped back, refusing to look at him. 

“No you don’t, not really. Just go?”

Callum shook his head, wiping away his tears. “I can’t lose you, Ben...”

“You just have?” Ben whispered. “Just go?!” He cried.

“I want to fix this.”

“Get out, Callum?!”

Ben sank down onto the floor in the corner sobbing to himself, as soon as Callum left, hugging his knees to his chest, struggling to breathe. 

“Ben?! What’s happened?!”

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there, crying to himself, Jay sitting down next to him. 

“I’ve lost him forever, Jay?!” He whined. 

“What changed?”

“He’s still crazy to want to marry her even though he admitted to me he was gay??”

“He’s just scared?” Jay told him, wrapping his arm around Ben. 

“I told him to go marry her...” Ben whispered. 

“Why’d you do that?! He’s gay!”

“He needs to understand for himself, Jay. I can’t keep telling him if he won’t listen. He needs to work it out for himself, needs to realise on his own what a terrible idea this all is.”

“He makes you so happy, Ben. I haven’t seen you this happy in such a long time before today.”

“Yeah well, I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of all this. I’m tired of getting my hopes up for it to come crushing down on me. I’m tired of being second best...”

“I’m sure he doesn’t think that? He’s just tryna do it his way. You know he doesn’t want to hurt you like this?”

“Who’s side you on?” Ben huffed. 

“Neither. Callum makes you happy and I want you to be happy. And Callum really, like really really likes you.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it.” Ben sighed. 

“Your always smiling when he’s around. Don’t think I see the way your eyes light up when he walks in the room or you laughing or smiling at everything he says. You love him, so don’t even tell me you don’t.”

“I told him I couldn’t anymore...”

“He’ll be back.” Jay smiled. 

“Maybe...”

“Tell you everything you want to hear.”

“I doubt it.” Ben sighed. 

“Don’t know about that raving review you said you’d get us, anymore.” Jay smiled. 

Ben laughed, wiping away his tears. “You think?”

“It’s your fault if I go outta business.” Jay smiled, trying to cheer him up. 

“He’ll come round.” Jay told him, hoping he would be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only three chapters left guys :)) Actually finished one for a change 🙄


	16. Chapter 16

Ben sat on the sofa in the office, resting his head against the wall. 

Callum’s wedding day.

Only a few more hours and he would be a married man.

He closed his eyes, sighing to himself, still unable to believe that Callum was going to go through with it, even after everything. 

“You alright?” Jay whispered, sitting next to him, knowing exactly what day it was. 

“I’ll be fine.” Ben smiled. “You need to go see a client today don’t you?”

“I do but I can cancel?”

“No, I’ll be okay, honestly. I’m okay on my own today.”

Jay nodded, picking up some paperwork from the side. “Call me if you need me?”

“Will do.” Ben smiled. 

~*~

Ben sat on his own for hours, everything they’d said a couple of weeks ago playing over and over in his head. 

He hated himself for keep checking the time every five minutes. Callum probably already married now. He sat alone for most of the day, nursing a bottle of champagne. 

Ben closed his eyes, hoping they’d go away, hearing the office door opening. 

“We ain’t open today.”

“Shame. I was hoping you’d see me.”

Ben sat up, looking at Callum. 

“Don’t you dare, Callum?! Don’t you dare come back here and rub it in a bit more!”

“I’m not doing that?” Callum simply said.

“Cracked open the expensive stuff for ya? I suppose congratulations are in order?”

“Are you drunk?”

“Nope.” Ben huffed, leaving the bottle on the side, turning back to Callum. “You can’t just come here and get to stand there in your full wedding gear looking like that?!”

“Like what?” Callum frowned. 

“You know damn well what?!” Ben cried. “It’s not fair...”

“Just let me explain?” Callum nodded. 

“No, cos your gonna tell me how this was all a great idea, when it wasn’t?!”

Callum stood in front of him, Ben looking up at him slowly, not moving away from him. 

“I’ve already said, I’m not doing it anymore?”

“Ben-“ Callum tried. 

“Why are you even here?!” Ben cried, not waiting for the answer. “I keep telling myself not to see you cos it’ll get easier then you do it to me all over again...”

“If you’d just let me speak?” Callum smiled. 

“Don’t do that either?! Don’t look at me like that...”

“Ben! Just stop!”

Ben glared at him, opening his mouth to speak. 

“Ben, don’t make me shut you up?”

Ben rolled his eyes but listened to him, staying quiet. 

“I feel like everything in my life has led to you. My choices, my heartbreak, my regrets. Everything. And when we’re together I’m grateful for my past, cos it guided me to you. If I’d have done one thing differently, I’d have never met you.”

“Why’re saying this to me, it’s not-“

Ben sighed, Callum cutting him off. 

“All my life, I’ve always been so scared of love, to be devoted to someone, but I know what it feels like now. To find that ‘person’, the one makes you smile everyday, makes me laugh all the time, who believes in me even when I didn’t myself. Because I know that you are ‘my person’ and I want you to be my best friend too. In my darkness you brought warmth and light and I don’t know what the future will be like, but right now, I choose you.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a while, searching Callum’s eyes. 

“You changed your vows then? Whitney will like em.” Ben whispered. 

“Cos they weren’t for Whit.”

“I’m not following. Where’s your wife??”

“Come on, Ben, you know exactly what I’ve just said. I haven’t got one.”

“Did something happen?” Ben looked worried for a second, remembering he was still annoyed with him. 

“You could say that. I was stood there at the alter and I couldn’t do it. I told her I couldn’t do it. Not when my whole being wanted to be here with you.”

“Really??”

Callum stepped forward, gently taking Ben’s face in his hands pressing their lips together. 

“I love you.” He whispered against his lips. 

“Wait, what?!”

“I love you, Ben, no one else. I want you too. Everything you said you wanted with me. I want it with you too. Cos I love you.”

Callum smiled at Ben, a tear slipping down his cheek. 

“I can’t believe this is actually happening to me...” Ben whispered. 

“It is...”

Callum pulled Ben back to him, Ben kissing him back harder, lacing his hand through Callum’s hair. 

“Did you say all that to Whitney?”

“Didn’t even start, made it up on the spot here, cos I don’t worry about what I’m gonna say. I see you standing right here in front of me and I know what exactly what I want and what to say.”

“Missed this.” Ben grinned. 

“Even after only two weeks?”

Ben rested his forehead against Callum’s, smiling to himself. 

“I missed you though, didn’t think I’d ever get to do that again.”

“Well you thought wrong.” Callum whispered.

Ben kissed him again, over and over, never wanting it to end. 

“I love you so much, Ben.” Callum smiled.

“I love you too.” He whispered, still not quite believing that this was real and not a dream.

All of it was real.


	17. Chapter 17

“I thought if I married her, everything I was feeling would go away, I’d be able to just get on with my life.” 

Ben looked up at Callum, looking deep in thought. 

“It doesn’t work like that, Cal.”

“I know that now, but I thought it would work, even when I told you I’d tell her I wasn’t what she wanted me to be.”

Callum wrapped his arm around Ben’s waist, pressing a kiss on the top of his head, Ben shuffling a little closer into his side. 

“And then I met you.” Callum smiled to himself. 

Ben looked up at Callum, leaning up and pressing a kiss on his lips, still stroking the back of his hand lightly. 

“You’ve changed my life, Ben. Everything. The way I see things, the way I see you... I’ve always been stuck in my own mind but I told you and you made it that little less harder each time.”

“I want you to be happy in yourself?”

“I know you do. No matter how hard I pushed you away, it just made you even more determined and I’ll always be grateful for that because if I’m lost, your there to hold me up.” 

Ben nodded, Callum smiling at him. “Are you crying??” 

Callum wiped away a tear, Ben taking his other hand too and locking their hands together. 

“Sorry, you’ve just changed so much.”

“Good or bad??” Callum squinted. 

“Good! Your so much more confident. I remember the first time I met you.” Ben smiled. “I can still see what you were wearing now.”

“You can?? That was like six or seven months ago?”

Ben nodded, smiling at Callum. “I remember you had these tight, rather sexy black jeans on.” Callum smiled at him, squeezing Ben’s hand. “And a blue shirt with this dark denim jacket on. I just thought woah? I thought you were amazing.”

“You didn’t know me?” Callum smiled at him. 

“I still do think your amazing now of course. But I still thought you were sexy?” Ben grinned. “Just stood there looking like that. Think me trying to be professional got thrown out the window.”

Callum laughed at Ben, looking a bit guilty. 

“I think the first thing I really noticed were your eyes. They’re so beautiful.”

“They’re not?! I keep telling you this?!”

Ben smiled at Callum, glaring at him. “They are, trust me Cal, they are.

“I do.”

“Well then.” Ben smiled. “I think I knew pretty much straight away, you were gay? You definitely confirmed it when you nearly died at the thought of staying in the hotel with Whitney.”

“I did not die?!” Callum cried. 

“I’m surprised Whitney wasn’t concerned?”

“Shut it you?! I am sorry for leaving it like that though, at the hotel.”

“Your here now.” Ben smiled, looking at Callum. “Not that I’ll ever forget that night.” He grinned.

Callum jumped, the door to the office swung open, looking away from Ben. 

“Whit?!” 

Ben untangled himself from around Callum, standing up, dropping his hand. 

“I can explain...” Ben started. 

“I’m not talking to you!” She snapped, turning her attention back to Callum, standing up too. 

“Well isn’t this cosy?! I should have known you’d come straight here! To him!”

“Whit, please...” 

“How could you do this to me? This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life and what? You tell me you don’t want me anymore?”

“I swear I didn’t want to hurt you?”

“Breaking news, Callum. You did a brilliant job of that?! I’m standing right there in front of you and you suddenly can’t do it?! Tell me your in love with him! Why didn’t you just tell me from the start that you were gay instead of taking me for a ride?!”

“You know it’s not as simple as that?” Ben frowned.

“Who asked you?!” She cried. 

“Whit come on, this isn’t about Ben.” Callum tried. 

“Of course it is! You’ve been seeing him behind my back?!”

“It wasn’t like that?? It wasn’t an affair?”

“Practically! You said to me you loved him, and your tryna tell me you haven’t been seeing him? I’d bet my life that you’ve slept with him.”

“That don’t matter.”

“Of course you have! I thought you were different Callum? But your the same as any other bloke in the whole world!”

“I haven’t set out to hurt you...”

Whitney turned her attention to Ben instead, glaring at him. 

“You had your sights on him right from the start! You couldn’t just leave us alone. You had to get your claws into him!” 

“Whit?!” Callum cried, frantically looking between them. “He hasn’t done anything wrong?!”

“Done anything wrong?!” She cried. “You’ve been seeing him, whilst you were with me! All those trips he’s been coming with us, the pub, you taking him home cos he got so drunk, probably miserable about not having you-“

“That’s not fair?” Callum frowned. 

“No Cal, wait. That’s not true at all. I didn’t know then that-“

“You’d what, Ben?! Successfully steal my fiancé?!"

“No, it’s not like that?”

“You didn’t know you’d fall in love with my fiancé? Go on, that’s exactly what you were gonna say?!”

“Alright, I think I’ve got the idea!”Ben cried. 

“Well go on then, how can you explain how the wedding planner has stolen my fiancé?”

“Nobody’s stolen me?!” Callum tried. 

“I didn’t plan any of this??” Ben frowned. 

“You’ll get bored eventually, your seriously telling me you’ve not done this before?”

“No! I have been in this business for years and never once been with anyone or ‘stolen’ as you put it. Cos Callum isn’t just anyone?!”

“You just thought you’d wreck my life then?”

“I’m sorry Whitney, I really am. We both know that Callum would never intentionally hurt you? Course he loves you, just not-“

“Not as much as you clearly.” She snapped.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” 

Callum sighed, looking between them. He could tell Ben was trying to stay calm, Whitney still seething. 

“He’s gay, Whitney? You can’t change that...” Ben said softly. 

Whitney closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. 

“Do you love him?” She whispered. 

Callum looked at Whitney, saying nothing more, waiting for him. 

“Do you??”

Callum nodded, looking back at Whitney trying to work out if she was still angry. 

“I can’t tell you how to feel, Callum? And if you love Ben, then who am I to stop you.”

“Really??”

“Yeah?” She sighed. “Course I’m so annoyed for you cheating but you were bound to if your gay. You didn’t want me like that.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you, I am. I still wanna be your friend. I don’t want to lose you?”

“Look, I’m sorry for having a go. I just thought you loved me...”

“I do! Just not-“

“Like you do, Ben, I get it.”

“I’m sorry, for everything.”

“I’m just glad you told me now and not later. I’m always gonna care about you, Callum.”

“And so will I.” Callum nodded quickly. 

“I swear if you hurt him...” Whitney warned, glaring at Ben. 

“I won’t.”

“Do you think we could be friends at me day?” Callum whispered. 

“I don’t know, Callum? Right now I need to be on my own. Maybe...”

Callum nodded standing next to Ben, both watching her leave. 

Neither said anything for a while after she left. Ben just wrapped his arms around Callum, leaning into him. Callum buried his head in Ben’s neck, closing his eyes, concentrating on the feel of Ben’s hands rubbing gently across his back. 

“She’ll come round.” Ben whispered. “She still cares about you?”

“Don’t know about that?” 

“She does. When she’s had time she’ll still be your friend.”

“Maybe...” Callum squeezed his eyes shut, holding onto Ben a little tighter. 

“Thanks for sticking up for me though?”

“She was just upset. I’ve upset her a lot. I just hope she’ll forgive me one day.”

Ben pulled away, holding Callum’s face in his hands. “She will.” He smiled. “I mean who can resist you, eh?”

Callum grinned at Ben, wrapping his arms around him again. 

“I do love you?”

“I know.” Ben smiled, resting his head on Callum’s shoulder. “I promise I’ll love you like you deserve too.”


	18. Two Years Later...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m kinda sad this is my last chapter, but I have already written a few chapters for new fic? You know me, it’s a pretty dark one again 🙄 Anyway, let me know what you actually thought about this fic :)

~*~ Two years later ~*~

“Where’s Callum?!” Ben cried, frantically looking at Lola. 

“Your not supposed to be seeing him yet anyway?”

“I can’t have a wedding day without him can I?! And we’ve never done the whole tradition thing, I need to make sure he’s here?”

Lola rolled her eyes, planting her hands on Ben’s shoulders to stop him from going anywhere. 

“Ben, he’s gonna be here. He isn’t gonna miss this for the world. In fact, if I know him, he’ll have been here hours ago. He was like an excitable puppy this morning?”

“I can’t help it, I just want it to be perfect.”

“It will be. Callum worships the ground you walk on and is crazy in love with you. He’ll be there. Stop stressing.”

Ben nodded slowly, trying to calm down. “Where’s Jay? He’s got the rings?”

“He’ll have those too, seriously if I have to lock you in a cupboard until the ceremony, I will if I have too?”

“Okay, okay? Calm, I’m calm...” Ben nodded. “Who am I kidding, I’m terrified, Lo!”

“Just go walk it off, it’ll be soon anyway, there’s only a few more guests left to arrive.”

“Is Mum here yet??”

“She’d have been here yesterday if she could have been?” Lola smiled. 

Ben nodded, wringing his hands together, feeling a little sick. 

“Go for a walk. And later Callum is gonna make you the happiest man and your gonna marry him.”

“Yeah.” Ben smiled, feeling better already. 

~*~

“Jay?!” Ben cried, hurrying to catch up with him. “You have got the rings?”

“Shit...” He whispered, checking his pockets frantically. “I’ve lost em...”

“Jay, your my best man? This can’t be happening?!”

“I’m kidding?!” Jay grinned, showing Ben the rings in his hand. 

“Don’t do that to me?!” Ben smacked him on his arm, letting out a sigh, breathing in and out slowly. 

“Stop lurking and go do something constructive, like waiting for Callum?” Jay smiled, tucking the rings away again. “God, your so easy to wind up.” He laughed. 

“If you weren’t my brother...” Ben squinted, heading off to find Callum. 

~*~

Ben yelped, as a door opened, dragging him into a cupboard.

“Missed me?” Callum grinned, pressing a hard kiss on Ben’s lips. 

“Don’t do that, I nearly had a heart attack?!”

Callum rolled his eyes, kissing him again anyway. “Your such a drama queen.”

“How’d you know I’d come this anyway?”

“Cos I know you and I know you’d be looking for the buffet, to see if you can find some food before we  
start.”

“Damn, caught red handed. I need food when I get nervous?” Ben grinned, pressed against Callum in the small space in a cupboard. “You coulda picked a bigger room though, more room to manoeuvre.” 

“Maybe I want to be in a small confined space with you?” Callum grinned, lifting Ben’s chin gently and pressing their mouths together. 

“We should be waiting til later...” Ben whispered, kissing him again anyway. 

“We’ve never been one for rules.” 

Ben leaned back up, kissing him softly. It’s sweeter this time, slower. 

“Don’t think I could live without your taste...” Ben whispered, kissing him slowly, running his tongue along Callum’s bottom lip, Callum instantly giving him what he needed, kissing him a little harder. 

Ben held the side of Callum’s face gently, his fingertips lost in his hair, always so soft. 

Shifting a little, Ben squeezed himself closer to him, feeling Callum’s arms wrapped around his waist, tight and safe and perfect.

Callum just holds him close and kisses him lazily, gently holding Ben on the small of his back. 

Callum broke away, smiling at Ben, his hand drifting in between them, trying to undo his belt. 

“You shouldn't go there." He said to Ben in a soft voice.

"Mmm.” Ben whined as he leaned forward, lacing his hand behind Callum’s neck to pull him to him again. Close enough now, Ben pressed a lighter kiss underneath his ear. “Every where on you is attractive.” He whispered. “If you won’t let touch, at least let me look?”

Callum let a breath of air, closing his eyes at Ben’s breath against his neck. 

“I'm not saying no, just not right now."

Ben leaned back so he could look at Callum’s face again, smiling at him. “So, just kissing?"

"Yeah.” Callum answered with a nod. “I wanna wait until tonight for that.”

“Now who’s being traditional?” Ben smiled. 

“I want it to be special. Cos this is special. Your special.”

“No touching.” Ben promised. 

“Anything more and I’ll end up ripping that sexy suit off you.” Callum grinned, kissing Ben’s neck. “And I’ll end up making you cry, everyone hearing you...” Callum whispered, smiling at Ben laughing softly to himself. 

“I wouldn’t complain...” Ben smiled, titling his head to the side, closing his eyes at the feel of Callum’s mouth travelling against his neck. 

“Later...” Callum promised. 

“I’ve got that image in my head now...”

“Of what? Making you a mess beneath me? You moaning sweet melodies for me?”

Ben hummed a response, feeling his cheeks burn as the thought passed through his mind squirming his body in pleasure against Callum’s. 

"Stop teasing me.” Ben answered, looking at Callum. He still had that sweet look in his eyes, desperate for Ben to kiss him again. 

“If I told people what you were like, nobody would believe me? Your all innocent on the outside but I know different.” Ben smiled. 

“I reserve being naughty for you.” Callum whispered. 

After a few seconds of just looking at Callum, Ben reached up and pulled Callum into one more soft kiss.

“You were certainly naughty sneaking into my room last night.”

“Jay woulda told me off?! So I had to be quiet.”

“You were the one who kicked me out of our home to go sleep at Jay’s. You and your traditions.” Ben smiled. 

“Then I missed you lying next to me, so came to you instead?” Callum grinned, looking pleased with himself. 

“I always want you.” Ben smiled. “24/7. I need you.”

“And here’s me thinking you just wanted me for the sex.” Callum grinned. 

“That is a very very big plus.” Ben grinned. “You know I love everything possible about you though. I always said I fell in love with your eyes first.”

“Your not too bad yourself.” Callum smiled. “I always need you too. I always will.”

Callum frowned at Ben looking so serious. “What?” 

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I’m just so proud of you. At how far you’ve come.”

“Oh, be quiet.” Callum grinned. “I didn’t drag you in here for pleasantries.”

“You really don’t like compliments do you?”

“Never have, never will.” Callum nodded, looking pleased with himself. 

“Well after today I’ve got the rest of our lives to change your mind.”

“The rest of my life?!” Callum gasped, looking horrified. 

“Oi, watch it you?!” Ben smacked his arm, Callum laughing to himself. 

“I’m kidding?! I can’t wait.” He whispered against his lips, cupping his face in his hand lightly, pressing their mouths together. 

“Ben! Callum! Hurry up, you can’t be late to your own wedding?!”

“Shh.” Callum whispered, pressing his finger against Ben’s mouth trying to stop him from laughing. 

“Guys, I know your in there, I can hear you both giggling like a pair of children?”

“He’ll go away?” Ben grinned. 

“No I won’t?! I’m not moving until you both come out.”

Jay shook his head at them both emerging from the cupboard, looking guilty. 

“Look at the state of you both?” 

Jay adjusted Ben’s flower in his suit, moving onto Callum. “I swear your like a couple of kids sometimes.” He smiled. 

“Sorry...” Callum grinned. 

“Literally like a few hours then you can have Ben all to yourself.”

“I couldn’t wait that long...”

“And don’t think I didn’t hear you sneaking into Ben’s room last night.”

Ben looked at Callum, both grinning at each other. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t throw him back out.” Ben chuckled. 

“Yeah well, he’ll have only come back. Your both as stubborn as each other. Literally made for each other.”

Jay shook his head at them standing together like they were in the head teachers office. 

“The flowers will be dead by the time, you two get there? Too busy messing around in a cupboard. Still can’t believe you wanted lillies?”

“Oh that’s just something between me and Cal.” Ben smiled. 

“And I even got involved this time?” Callum grinned. 

“God, you were like a bridezilla?!” Jay cried. 

“I was not?!” Callum frowned. 

“He’s teasing, babe.” Ben chuckled. 

“Seriously I can’t thank you enough for helping us plan all this, Jay, everything is beautiful.” Callum nodded.

“It was my pleasure. Everyone’s here. Kathy’s already crying? Stuart and Rainie are here too and Whit.”

“I’m glad we managed to still be friends too.” Callum nodded. 

“Who couldn’t be with a face like that?” Ben grinned. 

“Come on, we’ve got a wedding to get to.” Jay smiled. 

Ben laced his hand around Callum’s, smiling at each other. “Ready?”

“Always.” Callum grinned. 

~*~

Callum stood in front of Ben, everyone else in the room seeming to disappear, leaving just the two of them, smiling at each other. 

Ben held both of Callum’s hands between them, still not quite believing this was all real. About to marry Callum and get to call him ‘mine’. 

“The vows?” The registrar encouraged. 

Callum nodded, smiling softly at Ben. 

“You know, I don’t like wedding vows? Cos people always say ‘until death do us part’, but you don’t stop loving someone if they’ve gone? So I will promise to love you for all of eternity and everything after that. I can’t say I will always agree with you, cos you are pretty annoying?”

Ben laughed through his tears, holding onto Callum’s hand so tightly. 

“But I do promise to always listen to you. Your wishes, hopes, dreams? Everything. Cos I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Ben and I really know that we are stronger together.”

Callum reached up, wiping away Ben’s tears gently, taking Ben’s hand back in his own. 

“I didn’t just fall in love with you? I walked into it with you, holding your hand and taking you with me. I chose to take every step with you. I’d choose you in a hundred lifetimes and in a hundred worlds cos I will and I’ll always always find you and choose you. Because of you, I laugh, I smile and I’m happy. And you Ben Mitchell, are and always will be my best friend, my soulmate and my person.”

“Ben?” The registrar offered. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a mess now? I knew I should have gone first.” Ben smiled, drying his eyes, immediately taking Callum’s hands again. “Don’t know how I’m gonna do better than that. I told you, I wouldn’t say a whole speech.”

“I don’t care what you say.” Callum smiled. 

“I remember the day you asked me to marry you like it was yesterday. You’d planned it for weeks, making sure it was perfect and romantic. I think I cried, said yes then dragged you to bed?”

“Too much info!” Jay piped up. 

Ben rolled his eyes ignoring him, looking at Callum’s eyes. 

“I didn’t care about anything in that moment, apart from you down on one knee, wanting to be with me forever. Sometimes I watch you do the smallest of things and I think to myself that I am the luckiest man alive. And when I look at you, I see my whole world. I thought that the day you asked me to marry you was the happiest day of my life but today tops that by far. I’ve never been happier. I’m even happier that I managed to prove my Mum wrong, she always told me no one would ever be able to make an honest man out of me, but here we are.”

“Finally! You actually listened to me for a change?”

“I said it would happen one day?” Ben smiled at Kathy, still crying, Jay handing her tissues.

“A very wise man once said to me that it isn’t always a princess that needs saving from a tower but maybe it could be a prince? And I fell in love with you right there and then because you were being you and that is all I’ll ever want. I’m never gonna need nobody’s love but yours. And I made a promise a few years ago to love you like you deserve and I swear I will never love you any less than I do now.”

Ben smiled at Callum, his turn to cry now, trying to keep himself together. 

“I promise not to end the day on an argument and I’ll always tell you I love you every morning. I will always be here for you, through the highs and lows, to be true to you and forever faithful. I can stand here without fear, without hesitation, and promise to support, encourage and love you, for the rest of our lives, for my heart belongs to you. Always.”

“Sorry?” Callum smiled, drying his eyes. “Now we both look a mess?” He laughed. 

“Don’t ask where that came from, think I said way too much?”

“No, it was perfect.” Callum nodded. 

“With those, I pronounce you legally bound as husband and husband.”

“Husbands?” Callum whispered, cupping Ben’s face gently, lifting his head slightly. “I love the sound of that.”

“There’s only one thing left to do.” The registrar smiled. 

“Oh, kiss him already?!” Jay cried. 

“Husbands.” Ben grinned, pressing their lips together. 

Ben smiled into the kiss, feeling a cold band against his cheek, from the ring on Callum’s finger, lightly tangled in his hair. 

They’d both made it ‘Down The Aisle’ even if it was surprise, as to how it would happen to them both. 

Unbreakable together.


End file.
